MAGA: the Blathering
An attempt to chronicle the ongoing decline of the American experiment at the hands of Orange Julius. This
MAGA: the Blathering is a parody site based on Magic: the Gathering but has no affiliation with Hasbro or Wizards of the Coast, who own that property. For this reason, no, I'm not going to print and sell these cards, because I don't want to give their lawyers a good reason to poop the party.
Other brand new cards: Safe Space | Donald Trump Jr | On Many Sides | Ratings Bonanza | Marshal of the Supreme Court --> Click Here to see the most recently added cards!!
White is the home of the Establishment, the part of Washington that doesn't like to rock the boat.
Other 'White' cards: Proportional Response | White House Fence | Angela Merkel | You Just Got Here | Im Not With Him --> Click Here to see more White cards!!
Whether it's evil, stupidity, or terrible Smiths covers, black is the color of people in general being shitty to one another.
Other 'Black' cards: Palantyrannic Ritual | Defiance | Cuck | Trump-Brand Hooker | Ratings Bonanza --> Click Here to see more Black cards!!
Chaos! Damage! The Press! Deplorable assholes!.
Other 'Red' cards: Narcissistic Cabinet Meeting | On Many Sides | MOAB | Body Slam | Cruise Missile --> Click Here to see more Red cards!!
The part of government in the shadows, including both the bureaucratic ability to slow things down and the conspiracy theories that treat it with suspicion.
Other 'Blue' cards: Ethics Violation | Snowflake | Completely Safe | Dummy | Extreme Vetting --> Click Here to see more Blue cards!!
It's all about the left, be it minorities, dirty hippies or establishment democrats. Also, lots of the Mary Jane, if you know what I mean.
Other 'Green' cards: Pooping Dog | Freudian Slip | Level of Viciousness | Ineffective | Hide Behind Bushes --> Click Here to see more Green cards!!
The emperor may have no clothes, but he sure likes to play with his toys!
Other 'Artifact' cards: Electoral Map | Fine Tuned Machine | Chocolate Cake | Golf Cart | Secret Service Laptop --> Click Here to see more Artifact cards!!
Oh, the places we'll go! Assuming we're not detained indefinitely by customs for no legal reason!
Other 'Land' cards: Holocaust Center | Colorado | Bowling Green | Syria | Sizzler --> Click Here to see more Land cards!!
Pardon if they aren't quite as willing to suffer four years as Trump, given their rights are the first to go!
Other 'Minorities' cards: We All Hang Out | Do Your Job | Ballistic | Southern Poverty Law Center | Modern Underground Railroad --> Click Here to see more Minorities cards!!
Celebrities have opinions, which you value highly if they match yours!
Other 'Celebrities' cards: SatanistGlobalist Halftime Show | Kathy Griffin | Saturday Night Live | Kate McKinnon | JK Rowling --> Click Here to see more Celebrities cards!!
The only thing keeping us from chaos are career civil servants intent on serving America faithfully and trying not to get fired!
Other 'Bureaucrats' cards: Rogue NASA | Subversive White House Aide | CBO Score | Flip | Subpoena --> Click Here to see more Bureaucrats cards!!
The Antiestablishment Left
The house is on fire, and these people are still holding a grudge about Bernie.
Other 'Antiestablishment' cards: Michael Tracey | Radical Moose Lamb | Jill Stein Voter | Rep | Jill Fucking Stein --> Click Here to see more Antiestablishment cards!!
Customs officials and police feel the cuffs are off now when dealing with all those pesky brown and black people!
Other 'ArmedAuthority' cards: FBI Raid | National Guard | Testify | DHS Secretary John Kelly | Bloodbath in Yemen --> Click Here to see more ArmedAuthority cards!!
The unholy marriage of sexism, white supremacy, and being an asshole to everyone on Twitter
Other 'Deplorables' cards: Milo Yiannopoulos | Fire and Fury | David Duke | Sebastian Gorka | Donald Trump Jr --> Click Here to see more Deplorables cards!!
Torn between the clicks the Trump White House gives them, and the desire to stall the fall of the Republic!
Other 'Media' cards: Anderson Cooper | New York Times | Shepard Smith | Fact Checking Chyron | The Opposition Party --> Click Here to see more Media cards!!
Our President treats Alex Jones as a credible news source. Just let that sink in.
Other 'Conspiracists' cards: Fake News | Recuse | Call to War | Pretty Hate Machine | Roger Stone --> Click Here to see more Conspiracists cards!!
Usually feckless and corporatist, they are now in a situation where all they can do is play defense!!
Other 'Democrats' cards: Rep Kirsten Gillibrand | Mike Godwin | Ivankas Petty Neighbor | Rep Nancy Pelosi | John Kerry --> Click Here to see more Democrats cards!!
The Republican Establishment
Evil, but, you know, lawful evil! And by comparison, not as bad as we thought!
Other 'Republicans' cards: Ban the Press | Rep Devin Nunes | There Is No Christie Only Reek | John McCain | Newt Gingrich --> Click Here to see more Republicans cards!!
Multicolor (3+ Colors)
These are the things too awesome to fit your puny 2 color paradigm!
Other 'Multi' cards: Marshal of the Supreme Court | Tucker Carlson | Sergey Kislyak | Rogue National Park Service | Donald Trump --> Click Here to see more Multi cards!!
Front Page |
Antiestablishment (B/G) |
Armed Authorities (R/U) |
Bureaucrats (U/W) |
Celebrities (B/G) |
Democrats (W/G) |
Deplorables (R/B) |
Media (R/W) |
Minorities (G/R) |
MAGA the Gathering is a parody site, and is not sponsored, endorsed or any way affiliated with Wizards of the Coast or Hasbro.