MAGA: the Blathering

An attempt to chronicle the ongoing decline of the American experiment at the hands of Orange Julius. This MAGA: the Blathering is a parody site based on Magic: the Gathering but has no affiliation with Hasbro or Wizards of the Coast, who own that property. For this reason, no, I'm not going to print and sell these cards, because I don't want to give their lawyers a good reason to poop the party.

Latest Additions!



Other brand new cards: Safe Space | Im Not With Him | On Many Sides | Ratings Bonanza | Donald Trump Jr --> Click Here to see the most recently added cards!!

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Green

It's all about the left, be it minorities, dirty hippies or establishment democrats. Also, lots of the Mary Jane, if you know what I mean.



Other 'Green' cards: Women-Only Screening | Freudian Slip | Flagrant Nepotism | Massive Voter Fraud | Crowdfunding for Decency --> Click Here to see more Green cards!!

Red

Chaos! Damage! The Press! Deplorable assholes!.



Other 'Red' cards: Narcissistic Cabinet Meeting | Body Slam | Test Launch | Chicago Inner City Voters | Mens Rights Activists --> Click Here to see more Red cards!!

Black

Whether it's evil, stupidity, or terrible Smiths covers, black is the color of people in general being shitty to one another.



Other 'Black' cards: Palantyrannic Ritual | Protect Heritage | Defiance | Desperation Axe | Too Bad --> Click Here to see more Black cards!!

Blue

The part of government in the shadows, including both the bureaucratic ability to slow things down and the conspiracy theories that treat it with suspicion.



Other 'Blue' cards: Revoke Visas | White House Infomercial | Super Secret Information | Weak Ass Defense | Stephen Colbert --> Click Here to see more Blue cards!!

White

White is the home of the Establishment, the part of Washington that doesn't like to rock the boat.



Other 'White' cards: Predictable Blowback | You Just Got Here | True Believer | Pope Francis | State Attorney General --> Click Here to see more White cards!!

Land

Oh, the places we'll go! Assuming we're not detained indefinitely by customs for no legal reason!



Other 'Land' cards: Sizzler | Colorado | Trump Tower | Comet Pizza | Canada --> Click Here to see more Land cards!!

Artifacts

The emperor may have no clothes, but he sure likes to play with his toys!



Other 'Artifact' cards: Fine Tuned Machine | Secret Service Laptop | Electoral Map | Golf Cart | Cheap Coke --> Click Here to see more Artifact cards!!

The Antiestablishment Left

The house is on fire, and these people are still holding a grudge about Bernie.



Other 'Antiestablishment' cards: Antifa | Wikileaks | Glenn Greenwald | Radical Moose Lamb | Rep --> Click Here to see more Antiestablishment cards!!

Minority Voices

Pardon if they aren't quite as willing to suffer four years as Trump, given their rights are the first to go!



Other 'Minorities' cards: We All Hang Out | Anne Frank Foundation | Do Your Job | Ballistic | Indivisible --> Click Here to see more Minorities cards!!

Bureaucrats

The only thing keeping us from chaos are career civil servants intent on serving America faithfully and trying not to get fired!



Other 'Bureaucrats' cards: Sally Yates | Not Quite Yet | Rogue NASA | Flip | Unreliable Secret Service --> Click Here to see more Bureaucrats cards!!

Celebrities

Celebrities have opinions, which you value highly if they match yours!



Other 'Celebrities' cards: Saturday Night Live | JK Rowling | SatanistGlobalist Halftime Show | Kate McKinnon | Ariana Grande --> Click Here to see more Celebrities cards!!

Deplorables

The unholy marriage of sexism, white supremacy, and being an asshole to everyone on Twitter



Other 'Deplorables' cards: Grand Dragon | Donald Trump Jr | Lone Wolf | Nazi er Free Speech Rally | Stephen Miller --> Click Here to see more Deplorables cards!!

The Republican Establishment

Evil, but, you know, lawful evil! And by comparison, not as bad as we thought!



Other 'Republicans' cards: Dick Cheney | John McCain | Ban the Press | Scott Pruitt | Rules Change --> Click Here to see more Republicans cards!!

The Media

Torn between the clicks the Trump White House gives them, and the desire to stall the fall of the Republic!



Other 'Media' cards: Negative Press Covfefe | Faux Presidential | Dan Rather | Both Sides | Alexandra Petri --> Click Here to see more Media cards!!

Conspiracists

Our President treats Alex Jones as a credible news source. Just let that sink in.



Other 'Conspiracists' cards: Russian Photographer | Recuse | Louise Mensch | Repeal and Replace | Roger Stone --> Click Here to see more Conspiracists cards!!

Democrats

Usually feckless and corporatist, they are now in a situation where all they can do is play defense!!



Other 'Democrats' cards: Mayor Sadiq Khan | Gloat | John Kerry | Sen Elizabeth Warren | Sen Chuck Schumer --> Click Here to see more Democrats cards!!

Armed Authorities

Customs officials and police feel the cuffs are off now when dealing with all those pesky brown and black people!



Other 'ArmedAuthority' cards: DHS Secretary John Kelly | Tear Gas to the Nads | Take It Or Leave It | Preemptive Strike | National Guard --> Click Here to see more ArmedAuthority cards!!

Multicolor (3+ Colors)

These are the things too awesome to fit your puny 2 color paradigm!



Other 'Multi' cards: Reality Leigh Winner | Jeanine Pirro | Marshal of the Supreme Court | Sergey Kislyak | Intelligence Community --> Click Here to see more Multi cards!!

Front Page | Black | Blue | Green | Red | White | Land | Artifact 3-Colors
Antiestablishment (B/G) | Armed Authorities (R/U) | Bureaucrats (U/W) | Celebrities (B/G) | Conspiracists (B/U)
Democrats (W/G) | Deplorables (R/B) | Media (R/W) | Minorities (G/R) | Republicans (B/W)

MAGA the Gathering is a parody site, and is not sponsored, endorsed or any way affiliated with Wizards of the Coast or Hasbro.

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