MAGA: the Blathering

An attempt to chronicle the ongoing decline of the American experiment at the hands of Orange Julius. This MAGA: the Blathering is a parody site based on Magic: the Gathering but has no affiliation with Hasbro or Wizards of the Coast, who own that property. For this reason, no, I'm not going to print and sell these cards, because I don't want to give their lawyers a good reason to poop the party.

Latest Additions!



Other brand new cards: Ann Coulter | Donald Trump Jr | Marshal of the Supreme Court | On Many Sides | Ratings Bonanza --> Click Here to see the most recently added cards!!

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Red

Chaos! Damage! The Press! Deplorable assholes!.



Other 'Red' cards: Big Boy Tonka Photo Op | Gene | Narcissistic Cabinet Meeting | On Many Sides | Subterranean Polling --> Click Here to see more Red cards!!

Blue

The part of government in the shadows, including both the bureaucratic ability to slow things down and the conspiracy theories that treat it with suspicion.



Other 'Blue' cards: Astound | Extreme Vetting | Russian Backchannel | Thin Ice | Stephen Colbert --> Click Here to see more Blue cards!!

Green

It's all about the left, be it minorities, dirty hippies or establishment democrats. Also, lots of the Mary Jane, if you know what I mean.



Other 'Green' cards: Flagrant Nepotism | Ineffective | Justin Joe Trudeau | Hurricane Harvey | Women-Only Screening --> Click Here to see more Green cards!!

Black

Whether it's evil, stupidity, or terrible Smiths covers, black is the color of people in general being shitty to one another.



Other 'Black' cards: Too Bad | Protect Heritage | Ratings Bonanza | Transparent Bluff | Defiance --> Click Here to see more Black cards!!

White

White is the home of the Establishment, the part of Washington that doesn't like to rock the boat.



Other 'White' cards: Liar | Fuck You Im Kiteboarding | Parliamentary Rejection | Widows Garb | True Believer --> Click Here to see more White cards!!

Land

Oh, the places we'll go! Assuming we're not detained indefinitely by customs for no legal reason!



Other 'Land' cards: Canada | Comet Pizza | Atlanta | White House | Trump Tower --> Click Here to see more Land cards!!

Artifacts

The emperor may have no clothes, but he sure likes to play with his toys!



Other 'Artifact' cards: Pussy Hat | Pee Pee Tape | Fine Tuned Machine | Crane Sign | Hackable Voting Machines --> Click Here to see more Artifact cards!!

Conspiracists

Our President treats Alex Jones as a credible news source. Just let that sink in.



Other 'Conspiracists' cards: Recuse | Louise Mensch | Call for Authoritarianism | Repeal and Replace | Breitbart Centipede --> Click Here to see more Conspiracists cards!!

The Media

Torn between the clicks the Trump White House gives them, and the desire to stall the fall of the Republic!



Other 'Media' cards: Kurt Eichenwald | Uncredible | Washington Post | Holy Shit Indeed | Alexandra Petri --> Click Here to see more Media cards!!

The Republican Establishment

Evil, but, you know, lawful evil! And by comparison, not as bad as we thought!



Other 'Republicans' cards: Sen Jeff Sessions | Sarah Huckabee Sanders | Mike Pence | Rules Change | Rep Raul Labrador --> Click Here to see more Republicans cards!!

Democrats

Usually feckless and corporatist, they are now in a situation where all they can do is play defense!!



Other 'Democrats' cards: Mike Godwin | Ivankas Petty Neighbor | Nevertheless She Persisted | Rep Kirsten Gillibrand | Sen Chuck Schumer --> Click Here to see more Democrats cards!!

Minority Voices

Pardon if they aren't quite as willing to suffer four years as Trump, given their rights are the first to go!



Other 'Minorities' cards: Anne Frank Foundation | Spirit of Coretta Scott King | Anti Defamation League | Southern Poverty Law Center | Indivisible --> Click Here to see more Minorities cards!!

The Antiestablishment Left

The house is on fire, and these people are still holding a grudge about Bernie.



Other 'Antiestablishment' cards: Rep | Radical Moose Lamb | Glenn Greenwald | Jill Fucking Stein | Useful Idiot --> Click Here to see more Antiestablishment cards!!

Deplorables

The unholy marriage of sexism, white supremacy, and being an asshole to everyone on Twitter



Other 'Deplorables' cards: Grand Dragon | Donald Trump Jr | Sebastian Gorka | Jason Kessler | Eric Trump --> Click Here to see more Deplorables cards!!

Armed Authorities

Customs officials and police feel the cuffs are off now when dealing with all those pesky brown and black people!



Other 'ArmedAuthority' cards: National Guard | Blue Lives Matter | Take It Or Leave It | FBI Raid | Another Kent State --> Click Here to see more ArmedAuthority cards!!

Celebrities

Celebrities have opinions, which you value highly if they match yours!



Other 'Celebrities' cards: SatanistGlobalist Halftime Show | Ariana Grande | JK Rowling | Kendall Jenner | Ready to Serve --> Click Here to see more Celebrities cards!!

Bureaucrats

The only thing keeping us from chaos are career civil servants intent on serving America faithfully and trying not to get fired!



Other 'Bureaucrats' cards: Subpoena | Leaking Like a Sieve | Health Code Violation | Rogue NASA | CBO Score --> Click Here to see more Bureaucrats cards!!

Multicolor (3+ Colors)

These are the things too awesome to fit your puny 2 color paradigm!



Other 'Multi' cards: Ben Carson Brain Surgeon | Tucker Carlson | Reality Leigh Winner | Donald Trump | Notorious RBG --> Click Here to see more Multi cards!!

Front Page | Black | Blue | Green | Red | White | Land | Artifact 3-Colors
Antiestablishment (B/G) | Armed Authorities (R/U) | Bureaucrats (U/W) | Celebrities (B/G) | Conspiracists (B/U)
Democrats (W/G) | Deplorables (R/B) | Media (R/W) | Minorities (G/R) | Republicans (B/W)

MAGA the Gathering is a parody site, and is not sponsored, endorsed or any way affiliated with Wizards of the Coast or Hasbro.

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