MAGA: the Blathering
An attempt to chronicle the ongoing decline of the American experiment at the hands of Orange Julius. This
MAGA: the Blathering is a parody site based on Magic: the Gathering but has no affiliation with Hasbro or Wizards of the Coast, who own that property. For this reason, no, I'm not going to print and sell these cards, because I don't want to give their lawyers a good reason to poop the party.
Other brand new cards: LOL No | On Many Sides | Donald Trump Jr | Marshal of the Supreme Court | Ratings Bonanza --> Click Here to see the most recently added cards!!
It's all about the left, be it minorities, dirty hippies or establishment democrats. Also, lots of the Mary Jane, if you know what I mean.
Other 'Green' cards: Ineffective | Flagrant Nepotism | Hide Behind Bushes | Punch a Nazi | Pooping Dog --> Click Here to see more Green cards!!
The part of government in the shadows, including both the bureaucratic ability to slow things down and the conspiracy theories that treat it with suspicion.
Other 'Blue' cards: Misinterpreted | Astound | White House Infomercial | Stephen Colbert | Internet Hoax --> Click Here to see more Blue cards!!
White is the home of the Establishment, the part of Washington that doesn't like to rock the boat.
Other 'White' cards: White House Fence | Requires Constant Care Feeding | Proportional Response | Im Not With Him | White House Correspondent --> Click Here to see more White cards!!
Whether it's evil, stupidity, or terrible Smiths covers, black is the color of people in general being shitty to one another.
Other 'Black' cards: Palantyrannic Ritual | Fake Battleground | Pardon | Protect Heritage | Brain Surgery --> Click Here to see more Black cards!!
Chaos! Damage! The Press! Deplorable assholes!.
Other 'Red' cards: Mar-a-Lago Waitstaff | Big Boy Tonka Photo Op | Totally Different | Nazi Salute | Unleash the Butthurt --> Click Here to see more Red cards!!
The emperor may have no clothes, but he sure likes to play with his toys!
Other 'Artifact' cards: Fine Tuned Machine | Secret Service Laptop | Confederate Flag | Golf Cart | Pussy Hat --> Click Here to see more Artifact cards!!
Oh, the places we'll go! Assuming we're not detained indefinitely by customs for no legal reason!
Other 'Land' cards: Holocaust Center | White House | Canada | Iran | Atlanta --> Click Here to see more Land cards!!
The Republican Establishment
Evil, but, you know, lawful evil! And by comparison, not as bad as we thought!
Other 'Republicans' cards: Frat Dreams | Betsy DeVos | Rules Change | White House Council | John McCain --> Click Here to see more Republicans cards!!
The unholy marriage of sexism, white supremacy, and being an asshole to everyone on Twitter
Other 'Deplorables' cards: Jason Kessler | Nazi er Free Speech Rally | Grand Dragon | Donald Trump Jr | Fire and Fury --> Click Here to see more Deplorables cards!!
Pardon if they aren't quite as willing to suffer four years as Trump, given their rights are the first to go!
Other 'Minorities' cards: Modern Underground Railroad | Anne Frank Foundation | Indivisible | Do Your Job | Ghost of Frederick Douglass --> Click Here to see more Minorities cards!!
Celebrities have opinions, which you value highly if they match yours!
Other 'Celebrities' cards: JK Rowling | Ariana Grande | Faye Dunaway Warren Beatty | Ready to Serve | Meryl Streep --> Click Here to see more Celebrities cards!!
The Antiestablishment Left
The house is on fire, and these people are still holding a grudge about Bernie.
Other 'Antiestablishment' cards: Useful Idiot | Michael Tracey | Rep | The Young Turks | Jill Stein Voter --> Click Here to see more Antiestablishment cards!!
Usually feckless and corporatist, they are now in a situation where all they can do is play defense!!
Other 'Democrats' cards: John Kerry | Ivankas Petty Neighbor | Nevertheless She Persisted | Unclear on the Concept | Democratic Slumber Party --> Click Here to see more Democrats cards!!
Customs officials and police feel the cuffs are off now when dealing with all those pesky brown and black people!
Other 'ArmedAuthority' cards: Blue Lives Matter | Tear Gas to the Nads | Yuuuge Wall | Pot Meet Kettle | Take It Or Leave It --> Click Here to see more ArmedAuthority cards!!
Our President treats Alex Jones as a credible news source. Just let that sink in.
Other 'Conspiracists' cards: Breitbart Centipede | Repeal and Replace | Fake News | Prison Planet | Call to War --> Click Here to see more Conspiracists cards!!
Torn between the clicks the Trump White House gives them, and the desire to stall the fall of the Republic!
Other 'Media' cards: Anderson Cooper | Holy Shit Indeed | Press Solidarity | David Farenthold | Washington Post --> Click Here to see more Media cards!!
The only thing keeping us from chaos are career civil servants intent on serving America faithfully and trying not to get fired!
Other 'Bureaucrats' cards: Not Quite Yet | Subpoena | CBO Score | Health Code Violation | Rogue NASA --> Click Here to see more Bureaucrats cards!!
Multicolor (3+ Colors)
These are the things too awesome to fit your puny 2 color paradigm!
Other 'Multi' cards: Reality Leigh Winner | Marshal of the Supreme Court | Bill Maher | James Comey | Bring On Climate Change --> Click Here to see more Multi cards!!
Front Page |
Antiestablishment (B/G) |
Armed Authorities (R/U) |
Bureaucrats (U/W) |
Celebrities (B/G) |
Democrats (W/G) |
Deplorables (R/B) |
Media (R/W) |
Minorities (G/R) |
MAGA the Gathering is a parody site, and is not sponsored, endorsed or any way affiliated with Wizards of the Coast or Hasbro.