MAGA: the Blathering

An attempt to chronicle the ongoing decline of the American experiment at the hands of Orange Julius. This MAGA: the Blathering is a parody site based on Magic: the Gathering but has no affiliation with Hasbro or Wizards of the Coast, who own that property. For this reason, no, I'm not going to print and sell these cards, because I don't want to give their lawyers a good reason to poop the party.

Latest Additions!



Other brand new cards: Safe Space | On Many Sides | Marshal of the Supreme Court | Donald Trump Jr | Im Not With Him --> Click Here to see the most recently added cards!!

;

Blue

The part of government in the shadows, including both the bureaucratic ability to slow things down and the conspiracy theories that treat it with suspicion.



Other 'Blue' cards: Dummy | Russian Meme Propagation | Internet Hoax | Circular Fucking Logic | Counseled --> Click Here to see more Blue cards!!

Red

Chaos! Damage! The Press! Deplorable assholes!.



Other 'Red' cards: Mar-a-Lago Waitstaff | Youre Fired | MOAB | On Many Sides | Narcissistic Cabinet Meeting --> Click Here to see more Red cards!!

White

White is the home of the Establishment, the part of Washington that doesn't like to rock the boat.



Other 'White' cards: Dont Like To Read | You Just Got Here | Requires Constant Care Feeding | Liar | Firm Handshake --> Click Here to see more White cards!!

Green

It's all about the left, be it minorities, dirty hippies or establishment democrats. Also, lots of the Mary Jane, if you know what I mean.



Other 'Green' cards: Hurricane Harvey | Ineffective | Flagrant Nepotism | Level of Viciousness | Miraculous Survival --> Click Here to see more Green cards!!

Black

Whether it's evil, stupidity, or terrible Smiths covers, black is the color of people in general being shitty to one another.



Other 'Black' cards: Ann Coulter | Empty the Executive Library | Trump-Brand Hooker | Cuck | Ratings Bonanza --> Click Here to see more Black cards!!

Artifacts

The emperor may have no clothes, but he sure likes to play with his toys!



Other 'Artifact' cards: Confederate Flag | Pussy Hat | Caked-On Bronzer | Milk Assumedly Whole Not 2 | Dippin Dots --> Click Here to see more Artifact cards!!

Land

Oh, the places we'll go! Assuming we're not detained indefinitely by customs for no legal reason!



Other 'Land' cards: Trump Tower | Comet Pizza | Sizzler | Colorado | Iran --> Click Here to see more Land cards!!

Democrats

Usually feckless and corporatist, they are now in a situation where all they can do is play defense!!



Other 'Democrats' cards: Paid Protestors | John Kerry | Mike Godwin | Font of Embarrassment | Nevertheless She Persisted --> Click Here to see more Democrats cards!!

Bureaucrats

The only thing keeping us from chaos are career civil servants intent on serving America faithfully and trying not to get fired!



Other 'Bureaucrats' cards: Subversive White House Aide | Subpoena | Desperate Archivists | Sally Yates | Flip --> Click Here to see more Bureaucrats cards!!

Armed Authorities

Customs officials and police feel the cuffs are off now when dealing with all those pesky brown and black people!



Other 'ArmedAuthority' cards: New England Patriots | Tear Gas to the Nads | Blue Lives Matter | Preemptive Strike | ICE Raid --> Click Here to see more ArmedAuthority cards!!

Deplorables

The unholy marriage of sexism, white supremacy, and being an asshole to everyone on Twitter



Other 'Deplorables' cards: Nazi er Free Speech Rally | Jason Kessler | Fire and Fury | Grand Dragon | Sebastian Gorka --> Click Here to see more Deplorables cards!!

Conspiracists

Our President treats Alex Jones as a credible news source. Just let that sink in.



Other 'Conspiracists' cards: Robert Kennedy Antivaxer Loon | Pretty Hate Machine | Repeal and Replace | Prison Planet | Breitbart Centipede --> Click Here to see more Conspiracists cards!!

The Media

Torn between the clicks the Trump White House gives them, and the desire to stall the fall of the Republic!



Other 'Media' cards: Real-Time Fact Checking | Ted Koppel | Press Solidarity | Washington Post | New York Times --> Click Here to see more Media cards!!

The Republican Establishment

Evil, but, you know, lawful evil! And by comparison, not as bad as we thought!



Other 'Republicans' cards: Greg Gianforte | Rep Adrian Smith | Scott Pruitt | Sarah Huckabee Sanders | Rep Darrell Issa --> Click Here to see more Republicans cards!!

The Antiestablishment Left

The house is on fire, and these people are still holding a grudge about Bernie.



Other 'Antiestablishment' cards: Antifa | Rep | Carter Page | Glenn Greenwald | Wikileaks --> Click Here to see more Antiestablishment cards!!

Celebrities

Celebrities have opinions, which you value highly if they match yours!



Other 'Celebrities' cards: Ariana Grande | SatanistGlobalist Halftime Show | JK Rowling | Streisand Effect | Faye Dunaway Warren Beatty --> Click Here to see more Celebrities cards!!

Minority Voices

Pardon if they aren't quite as willing to suffer four years as Trump, given their rights are the first to go!



Other 'Minorities' cards: Anti Defamation League | Do Your Job | Ballistic | Indivisible | Spirit of Coretta Scott King --> Click Here to see more Minorities cards!!

Multicolor (3+ Colors)

These are the things too awesome to fit your puny 2 color paradigm!



Other 'Multi' cards: Notorious RBG | Reality Leigh Winner | Jared Kushner | Larry Flynt | Rogue National Park Service --> Click Here to see more Multi cards!!

Front Page | Black | Blue | Green | Red | White | Land | Artifact 3-Colors
Antiestablishment (B/G) | Armed Authorities (R/U) | Bureaucrats (U/W) | Celebrities (B/G) | Conspiracists (B/U)
Democrats (W/G) | Deplorables (R/B) | Media (R/W) | Minorities (G/R) | Republicans (B/W)

MAGA the Gathering is a parody site, and is not sponsored, endorsed or any way affiliated with Wizards of the Coast or Hasbro.

;