MAGA: the Blathering
An attempt to chronicle the ongoing decline of the American experiment at the hands of Orange Julius. This
MAGA: the Blathering is a parody site based on Magic: the Gathering but has no affiliation with Hasbro or Wizards of the Coast, who own that property. For this reason, no, I'm not going to print and sell these cards, because I don't want to give their lawyers a good reason to poop the party.
Other brand new cards: Safe Space | Ratings Bonanza | Donald Trump Jr | On Many Sides | Im Not With Him --> Click Here to see the most recently added cards!!
It's all about the left, be it minorities, dirty hippies or establishment democrats. Also, lots of the Mary Jane, if you know what I mean.
Other 'Green' cards: Justin Joe Trudeau | Hurricane Harvey | Ineffective | Jewish Klan Rally | Level of Viciousness --> Click Here to see more Green cards!!
White is the home of the Establishment, the part of Washington that doesn't like to rock the boat.
Other 'White' cards: Firm Handshake | Disown | Predictable Blowback | Safe Space | No Not That One --> Click Here to see more White cards!!
The part of government in the shadows, including both the bureaucratic ability to slow things down and the conspiracy theories that treat it with suspicion.
Other 'Blue' cards: Integrity Appropriation | Revoke Visas | Alternate Facts | Coverup | Internet Hoax --> Click Here to see more Blue cards!!
Whether it's evil, stupidity, or terrible Smiths covers, black is the color of people in general being shitty to one another.
Other 'Black' cards: Palantyrannic Ritual | Empty the Executive Library | Pardon | Cuck | Transparent Bluff --> Click Here to see more Black cards!!
Chaos! Damage! The Press! Deplorable assholes!.
Other 'Red' cards: On Many Sides | Narcissistic Cabinet Meeting | Nazi Salute | MOAB | Totally Not a Nazi --> Click Here to see more Red cards!!
The emperor may have no clothes, but he sure likes to play with his toys!
Other 'Artifact' cards: Pussy Hat | Golf Cart | Confederate Flag | Snap On Stealth Component | Electoral Map --> Click Here to see more Artifact cards!!
Oh, the places we'll go! Assuming we're not detained indefinitely by customs for no legal reason!
Other 'Land' cards: Holocaust Center | Sizzler | Colorado | Syria | Bowling Green --> Click Here to see more Land cards!!
The unholy marriage of sexism, white supremacy, and being an asshole to everyone on Twitter
Other 'Deplorables' cards: David Duke | Nazi er Free Speech Rally | Jason Kessler | Dakota Access Pipeline | Grab Em By the Pussy --> Click Here to see more Deplorables cards!!
The only thing keeping us from chaos are career civil servants intent on serving America faithfully and trying not to get fired!
Other 'Bureaucrats' cards: Rogue NASA | CBO Score | Horrible No-Good Very Bad Weekend | Desperate Archivists | Unreliable Secret Service --> Click Here to see more Bureaucrats cards!!
Pardon if they aren't quite as willing to suffer four years as Trump, given their rights are the first to go!
Other 'Minorities' cards: Modern Underground Railroad | Rep John Lewis | Spirit of Coretta Scott King | Southern Poverty Law Center | Indivisible --> Click Here to see more Minorities cards!!
Celebrities have opinions, which you value highly if they match yours!
Other 'Celebrities' cards: JK Rowling | SatanistGlobalist Halftime Show | Switch Jobs | Streisand Effect | Emasculated --> Click Here to see more Celebrities cards!!
The Republican Establishment
Evil, but, you know, lawful evil! And by comparison, not as bad as we thought!
Other 'Republicans' cards: Sarah Huckabee Sanders | Dick Cheney | John McCain | Frat Dreams | White House Council --> Click Here to see more Republicans cards!!
Our President treats Alex Jones as a credible news source. Just let that sink in.
Other 'Conspiracists' cards: Pretty Hate Machine | Roger Stone | Russian Photographer | Fox Friends | Andrew Napolitano --> Click Here to see more Conspiracists cards!!
Customs officials and police feel the cuffs are off now when dealing with all those pesky brown and black people!
Other 'ArmedAuthority' cards: Another Kent State | Pot Meet Kettle | FBI Raid | The CPB | Blue Lives Matter --> Click Here to see more ArmedAuthority cards!!
Torn between the clicks the Trump White House gives them, and the desire to stall the fall of the Republic!
Other 'Media' cards: Press Solidarity | Snopes | Uncredible | Washington Post | Negative Press Covfefe --> Click Here to see more Media cards!!
Usually feckless and corporatist, they are now in a situation where all they can do is play defense!!
Other 'Democrats' cards: Gloat | Ivankas Petty Neighbor | Nevertheless She Persisted | Mayor Sadiq Khan | Pussy Grabs Back --> Click Here to see more Democrats cards!!
The Antiestablishment Left
The house is on fire, and these people are still holding a grudge about Bernie.
Other 'Antiestablishment' cards: Jill Stein Voter | Glenn Greenwald | Wikileaks | Antifa | Michael Tracey --> Click Here to see more Antiestablishment cards!!
Multicolor (3+ Colors)
These are the things too awesome to fit your puny 2 color paradigm!
Other 'Multi' cards: Sheriff Joe Arpaio | Notorious RBG | Sergey Kislyak | Tucker Carlson | Jeanine Pirro --> Click Here to see more Multi cards!!
Front Page |
Antiestablishment (B/G) |
Armed Authorities (R/U) |
Bureaucrats (U/W) |
Celebrities (B/G) |
Democrats (W/G) |
Deplorables (R/B) |
Media (R/W) |
Minorities (G/R) |
MAGA the Gathering is a parody site, and is not sponsored, endorsed or any way affiliated with Wizards of the Coast or Hasbro.