MAGA: the Blathering
An attempt to chronicle the ongoing decline of the American experiment at the hands of Orange Julius. This
MAGA: the Blathering is a parody site based on Magic: the Gathering but has no affiliation with Hasbro or Wizards of the Coast, who own that property. For this reason, no, I'm not going to print and sell these cards, because I don't want to give their lawyers a good reason to poop the party.
Other brand new cards: Safe Space | Ratings Bonanza | Marshal of the Supreme Court | Im Not With Him | Donald Trump Jr --> Click Here to see the most recently added cards!!
The part of government in the shadows, including both the bureaucratic ability to slow things down and the conspiracy theories that treat it with suspicion.
Other 'Blue' cards: Misinterpreted | Internet Hoax | Overturn Gerrymandering | Russian Meme Propagation | Integrity Appropriation --> Click Here to see more Blue cards!!
White is the home of the Establishment, the part of Washington that doesn't like to rock the boat.
Other 'White' cards: Total Eclipse of the Derp | True Believer | Parliamentary Rejection | Angela Merkel | Proportional Response --> Click Here to see more White cards!!
Whether it's evil, stupidity, or terrible Smiths covers, black is the color of people in general being shitty to one another.
Other 'Black' cards: What a Crowd | Ann Coulter | Cuck | Fake Battleground | Palantyrannic Ritual --> Click Here to see more Black cards!!
It's all about the left, be it minorities, dirty hippies or establishment democrats. Also, lots of the Mary Jane, if you know what I mean.
Other 'Green' cards: Pooping Dog | LOL No | Level of Viciousness | Freudian Slip | Hide Behind Bushes --> Click Here to see more Green cards!!
Chaos! Damage! The Press! Deplorable assholes!.
Other 'Red' cards: Nazi Salute | Unleash the Butthurt | Me First | Body Slam | Ranting and Raving --> Click Here to see more Red cards!!
Oh, the places we'll go! Assuming we're not detained indefinitely by customs for no legal reason!
Other 'Land' cards: Comet Pizza | Canada | Sweden | Trump Tower | Iran --> Click Here to see more Land cards!!
The emperor may have no clothes, but he sure likes to play with his toys!
Other 'Artifact' cards: Fine Tuned Machine | Confederate Flag | Milk Assumedly Whole Not 2 | Dippin Dots | Uranium --> Click Here to see more Artifact cards!!
The unholy marriage of sexism, white supremacy, and being an asshole to everyone on Twitter
Other 'Deplorables' cards: Grand Dragon | Nazi er Free Speech Rally | President Bannon | Friendly Reporter | Strongarm --> Click Here to see more Deplorables cards!!
Usually feckless and corporatist, they are now in a situation where all they can do is play defense!!
Other 'Democrats' cards: Gabby Giffords | A Day Without Women | Rep Kirsten Gillibrand | Mike Godwin | Democratic Slumber Party --> Click Here to see more Democrats cards!!
The Antiestablishment Left
The house is on fire, and these people are still holding a grudge about Bernie.
Other 'Antiestablishment' cards: Useful Idiot | Glenn Greenwald | Michael Tracey | Wikileaks | Carter Page --> Click Here to see more Antiestablishment cards!!
Torn between the clicks the Trump White House gives them, and the desire to stall the fall of the Republic!
Other 'Media' cards: Faux Presidential | Negative Press Covfefe | Kurt Eichenwald | Shepard Smith | Press Solidarity --> Click Here to see more Media cards!!
Celebrities have opinions, which you value highly if they match yours!
Other 'Celebrities' cards: SatanistGlobalist Halftime Show | Kendall Jenner | Streisand Effect | Kathy Griffin | Saturday Night Live --> Click Here to see more Celebrities cards!!
Pardon if they aren't quite as willing to suffer four years as Trump, given their rights are the first to go!
Other 'Minorities' cards: Spirit of Coretta Scott King | Ghost of Frederick Douglass | Anne Frank Foundation | Anti Defamation League | Ballistic --> Click Here to see more Minorities cards!!
Our President treats Alex Jones as a credible news source. Just let that sink in.
Other 'Conspiracists' cards: Fake News | Pretty Hate Machine | Recuse | Fox Friends | Russian Photographer --> Click Here to see more Conspiracists cards!!
The Republican Establishment
Evil, but, you know, lawful evil! And by comparison, not as bad as we thought!
Other 'Republicans' cards: Rex Tillerson | Sarah Huckabee Sanders | Scott Pruitt | Hell No | Greg Gianforte --> Click Here to see more Republicans cards!!
The only thing keeping us from chaos are career civil servants intent on serving America faithfully and trying not to get fired!
Other 'Bureaucrats' cards: Flip | Rogue NASA | Sally Yates | Temporary Stay | Horrible No-Good Very Bad Weekend --> Click Here to see more Bureaucrats cards!!
Customs officials and police feel the cuffs are off now when dealing with all those pesky brown and black people!
Other 'ArmedAuthority' cards: Blue Lives Matter | New England Patriots | Preemptive Strike | Take It Or Leave It | DHS Secretary John Kelly --> Click Here to see more ArmedAuthority cards!!
Multicolor (3+ Colors)
These are the things too awesome to fit your puny 2 color paradigm!
Other 'Multi' cards: Reality Leigh Winner | Sheriff Joe Arpaio | James Comey | Intelligence Community | Marshal of the Supreme Court --> Click Here to see more Multi cards!!
Front Page |
Antiestablishment (B/G) |
Armed Authorities (R/U) |
Bureaucrats (U/W) |
Celebrities (B/G) |
Democrats (W/G) |
Deplorables (R/B) |
Media (R/W) |
Minorities (G/R) |
MAGA the Gathering is a parody site, and is not sponsored, endorsed or any way affiliated with Wizards of the Coast or Hasbro.