MAGA: the Blathering

An attempt to chronicle the ongoing decline of the American experiment at the hands of Orange Julius. This MAGA: the Blathering is a parody site based on Magic: the Gathering but has no affiliation with Hasbro or Wizards of the Coast, who own that property. For this reason, no, I'm not going to print and sell these cards, because I don't want to give their lawyers a good reason to poop the party.

Latest Additions!



Other brand new cards: Ann Coulter | Ratings Bonanza | On Many Sides | Donald Trump Jr | Im Not With Him --> Click Here to see the most recently added cards!!

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Blue

The part of government in the shadows, including both the bureaucratic ability to slow things down and the conspiracy theories that treat it with suspicion.



Other 'Blue' cards: Weak Ass Defense | Taking Care of Itself | Coverup | Extreme Vetting | Label --> Click Here to see more Blue cards!!

Green

It's all about the left, be it minorities, dirty hippies or establishment democrats. Also, lots of the Mary Jane, if you know what I mean.



Other 'Green' cards: LOL No | Flagrant Nepotism | Hide Behind Bushes | Justin Joe Trudeau | Higher Purpose --> Click Here to see more Green cards!!

Black

Whether it's evil, stupidity, or terrible Smiths covers, black is the color of people in general being shitty to one another.



Other 'Black' cards: Fake Battleground | Transparent Bluff | Ann Coulter | What a Crowd | Pardon --> Click Here to see more Black cards!!

White

White is the home of the Establishment, the part of Washington that doesn't like to rock the boat.



Other 'White' cards: Firm Handshake | Total Eclipse of the Derp | True Believer | Parliamentary Rejection | Proportional Response --> Click Here to see more White cards!!

Red

Chaos! Damage! The Press! Deplorable assholes!.



Other 'Red' cards: Totally Different | On Many Sides | Out of the Loop | Free Pass for Nazis | Subterranean Polling --> Click Here to see more Red cards!!

Land

Oh, the places we'll go! Assuming we're not detained indefinitely by customs for no legal reason!



Other 'Land' cards: Sizzler | White House | Canada | Comet Pizza | Colorado --> Click Here to see more Land cards!!

Artifacts

The emperor may have no clothes, but he sure likes to play with his toys!



Other 'Artifact' cards: Fine Tuned Machine | Chocolate Cake | Electoral Map | Festivus Pole | Golf Cart --> Click Here to see more Artifact cards!!

Deplorables

The unholy marriage of sexism, white supremacy, and being an asshole to everyone on Twitter



Other 'Deplorables' cards: Jason Kessler | David Duke | President Bannon | Donald Trump Jr | Total Chaos --> Click Here to see more Deplorables cards!!

The Republican Establishment

Evil, but, you know, lawful evil! And by comparison, not as bad as we thought!



Other 'Republicans' cards: Sen Jeff Sessions | There Is No Christie Only Reek | Rules Change | Mike Pence | Rep Roger Marshall --> Click Here to see more Republicans cards!!

Democrats

Usually feckless and corporatist, they are now in a situation where all they can do is play defense!!



Other 'Democrats' cards: John Kerry | Rep Kirsten Gillibrand | Font of Embarrassment | Paid Protestors | Mayor Sadiq Khan --> Click Here to see more Democrats cards!!

Armed Authorities

Customs officials and police feel the cuffs are off now when dealing with all those pesky brown and black people!



Other 'ArmedAuthority' cards: Bloodbath in Yemen | Sheriff David Clarke | Tear Gas to the Nads | Hang Up | Race the CBO Score --> Click Here to see more ArmedAuthority cards!!

The Media

Torn between the clicks the Trump White House gives them, and the desire to stall the fall of the Republic!



Other 'Media' cards: Negative Press Covfefe | Washington Post | Holy Shit Indeed | David Farenthold | Snopes --> Click Here to see more Media cards!!

Bureaucrats

The only thing keeping us from chaos are career civil servants intent on serving America faithfully and trying not to get fired!



Other 'Bureaucrats' cards: Horrible No-Good Very Bad Weekend | Subpoena | Unconstitutional | Flip | Leaking Like a Sieve --> Click Here to see more Bureaucrats cards!!

Conspiracists

Our President treats Alex Jones as a credible news source. Just let that sink in.



Other 'Conspiracists' cards: Breitbart Centipede | Roger Stone | Kellyanne Conway | David Seaman | Call for Authoritarianism --> Click Here to see more Conspiracists cards!!

Minority Voices

Pardon if they aren't quite as willing to suffer four years as Trump, given their rights are the first to go!



Other 'Minorities' cards: Do Your Job | Ghost of Frederick Douglass | Blinding Arrogance | Southern Poverty Law Center | Spirit of Coretta Scott King --> Click Here to see more Minorities cards!!

Celebrities

Celebrities have opinions, which you value highly if they match yours!



Other 'Celebrities' cards: JK Rowling | SatanistGlobalist Halftime Show | Ready to Serve | Kate McKinnon | Streisand Effect --> Click Here to see more Celebrities cards!!

The Antiestablishment Left

The house is on fire, and these people are still holding a grudge about Bernie.



Other 'Antiestablishment' cards: Radical Moose Lamb | Rep | Glenn Greenwald | Carter Page | Susan Sarandon --> Click Here to see more Antiestablishment cards!!

Multicolor (3+ Colors)

These are the things too awesome to fit your puny 2 color paradigm!



Other 'Multi' cards: James Comey | Jared Kushner | Reality Leigh Winner | Tucker Carlson | Sergey Kislyak --> Click Here to see more Multi cards!!

Front Page | Black | Blue | Green | Red | White | Land | Artifact 3-Colors
Antiestablishment (B/G) | Armed Authorities (R/U) | Bureaucrats (U/W) | Celebrities (B/G) | Conspiracists (B/U)
Democrats (W/G) | Deplorables (R/B) | Media (R/W) | Minorities (G/R) | Republicans (B/W)

MAGA the Gathering is a parody site, and is not sponsored, endorsed or any way affiliated with Wizards of the Coast or Hasbro.

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