MAGA: the Blathering
An attempt to chronicle the ongoing decline of the American experiment at the hands of Orange Julius. This
MAGA: the Blathering is a parody site based on Magic: the Gathering but has no affiliation with Hasbro or Wizards of the Coast, who own that property. For this reason, no, I'm not going to print and sell these cards, because I don't want to give their lawyers a good reason to poop the party.
Other brand new cards: What a Crowd | Donald Trump Jr | Im Not With Him | On Many Sides | Ratings Bonanza --> Click Here to see the most recently added cards!!
Chaos! Damage! The Press! Deplorable assholes!.
Other 'Red' cards: Unleash the Butthurt | Overcook with Ketchup | Nazi Salute | Big Boy Tonka Photo Op | Gene --> Click Here to see more Red cards!!
White is the home of the Establishment, the part of Washington that doesn't like to rock the boat.
Other 'White' cards: You Just Got Here | Firm Handshake | Requires Constant Care Feeding | Exceptionally Shitty Turnout | True Believer --> Click Here to see more White cards!!
The part of government in the shadows, including both the bureaucratic ability to slow things down and the conspiracy theories that treat it with suspicion.
Other 'Blue' cards: Difficulty Recruiting | Wander Off | Super Secret Information | Glacial Pace | Astound --> Click Here to see more Blue cards!!
Whether it's evil, stupidity, or terrible Smiths covers, black is the color of people in general being shitty to one another.
Other 'Black' cards: Too Bad | Ratings Bonanza | Just Sign Right Here and Here | Cuck | Empty the Executive Library --> Click Here to see more Black cards!!
It's all about the left, be it minorities, dirty hippies or establishment democrats. Also, lots of the Mary Jane, if you know what I mean.
Other 'Green' cards: Women-Only Screening | Higher Purpose | Hurricane Harvey | Miraculous Survival | Level of Viciousness --> Click Here to see more Green cards!!
Oh, the places we'll go! Assuming we're not detained indefinitely by customs for no legal reason!
Other 'Land' cards: Holocaust Center | Canada | Sweden | Sizzler | White House --> Click Here to see more Land cards!!
The emperor may have no clothes, but he sure likes to play with his toys!
Other 'Artifact' cards: Confederate Flag | Electoral Map | Pussy Hat | Golf Cart | Chocolate Cake --> Click Here to see more Artifact cards!!
Torn between the clicks the Trump White House gives them, and the desire to stall the fall of the Republic!
Other 'Media' cards: Negative Press Covfefe | Suck It Up Buttercup | The Opposition Party | Uncredible | Both Sides --> Click Here to see more Media cards!!
Our President treats Alex Jones as a credible news source. Just let that sink in.
Other 'Conspiracists' cards: Roger Stone | Russian Photographer | Deconstruction | Idiot | Disable Recording with Russians --> Click Here to see more Conspiracists cards!!
Usually feckless and corporatist, they are now in a situation where all they can do is play defense!!
Other 'Democrats' cards: Mike Godwin | Rep Kirsten Gillibrand | Nevertheless She Persisted | Gloat | Paid Protestors --> Click Here to see more Democrats cards!!
The unholy marriage of sexism, white supremacy, and being an asshole to everyone on Twitter
Other 'Deplorables' cards: Donald Trump Jr | President Bannon | Sebastian Gorka | Eric Trump | Fire and Fury --> Click Here to see more Deplorables cards!!
Celebrities have opinions, which you value highly if they match yours!
Other 'Celebrities' cards: Saturday Night Live | Faye Dunaway Warren Beatty | Hollywood Elite | Ready to Serve | Kathy Griffin --> Click Here to see more Celebrities cards!!
Customs officials and police feel the cuffs are off now when dealing with all those pesky brown and black people!
Other 'ArmedAuthority' cards: Bloodbath in Yemen | Pot Meet Kettle | National Guard | Reaccommodate | Take It Or Leave It --> Click Here to see more ArmedAuthority cards!!
The only thing keeping us from chaos are career civil servants intent on serving America faithfully and trying not to get fired!
Other 'Bureaucrats' cards: Unconstitutional | CBO Score | Not Quite Yet | Rogue NASA | Desperate Archivists --> Click Here to see more Bureaucrats cards!!
The Republican Establishment
Evil, but, you know, lawful evil! And by comparison, not as bad as we thought!
Other 'Republicans' cards: Sen Jeff Sessions | Obamacare Lite | Rep Adrian Smith | John McCain | Scott Pruitt --> Click Here to see more Republicans cards!!
Pardon if they aren't quite as willing to suffer four years as Trump, given their rights are the first to go!
Other 'Minorities' cards: Ballistic | Southern Poverty Law Center | Modern Underground Railroad | Anne Frank Foundation | Indivisible --> Click Here to see more Minorities cards!!
The Antiestablishment Left
The house is on fire, and these people are still holding a grudge about Bernie.
Other 'Antiestablishment' cards: Jill Stein Voter | Glenn Greenwald | Rep | Michael Tracey | Carter Page --> Click Here to see more Antiestablishment cards!!
Multicolor (3+ Colors)
These are the things too awesome to fit your puny 2 color paradigm!
Other 'Multi' cards: Reality Leigh Winner | Marshal of the Supreme Court | Tucker Carlson | Bill OReilly | James Comey --> Click Here to see more Multi cards!!
Front Page |
Antiestablishment (B/G) |
Armed Authorities (R/U) |
Bureaucrats (U/W) |
Celebrities (B/G) |
Democrats (W/G) |
Deplorables (R/B) |
Media (R/W) |
Minorities (G/R) |
MAGA the Gathering is a parody site, and is not sponsored, endorsed or any way affiliated with Wizards of the Coast or Hasbro.