MAGA: the Blathering

An attempt to chronicle the ongoing decline of the American experiment at the hands of Orange Julius. This MAGA: the Blathering is a parody site based on Magic: the Gathering but has no affiliation with Hasbro or Wizards of the Coast, who own that property. For this reason, no, I'm not going to print and sell these cards, because I don't want to give their lawyers a good reason to poop the party.

Latest Additions!



Other brand new cards: Safe Space | On Many Sides | Im Not With Him | Donald Trump Jr | Marshal of the Supreme Court --> Click Here to see the most recently added cards!!

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Green

It's all about the left, be it minorities, dirty hippies or establishment democrats. Also, lots of the Mary Jane, if you know what I mean.



Other 'Green' cards: Level of Viciousness | Justin Joe Trudeau | Hide Behind Bushes | Pooping Dog | LOL No --> Click Here to see more Green cards!!

Red

Chaos! Damage! The Press! Deplorable assholes!.



Other 'Red' cards: Body Slam | On Many Sides | Tweet Password | Me First | Tweetstorm --> Click Here to see more Red cards!!

Black

Whether it's evil, stupidity, or terrible Smiths covers, black is the color of people in general being shitty to one another.



Other 'Black' cards: Too Bad | Pardon | Trump-Brand Hooker | Protect Heritage | Cuck --> Click Here to see more Black cards!!

White

White is the home of the Establishment, the part of Washington that doesn't like to rock the boat.



Other 'White' cards: Pope Francis | Dont Like To Read | Nazi Needs a Punchin | God Damned American Heroes | Firm Handshake --> Click Here to see more White cards!!

Blue

The part of government in the shadows, including both the bureaucratic ability to slow things down and the conspiracy theories that treat it with suspicion.



Other 'Blue' cards: Astound | Super Secret Information | Dummy | Weak Ass Defense | Is This a Good Bill --> Click Here to see more Blue cards!!

Land

Oh, the places we'll go! Assuming we're not detained indefinitely by customs for no legal reason!



Other 'Land' cards: White House | Mar-a-Lago | Colorado | Iran | Sweden --> Click Here to see more Land cards!!

Artifacts

The emperor may have no clothes, but he sure likes to play with his toys!



Other 'Artifact' cards: Secret Service Laptop | Confederate Flag | U | Light on an Unsecured Cellphone | Snap On Stealth Component --> Click Here to see more Artifact cards!!

Minority Voices

Pardon if they aren't quite as willing to suffer four years as Trump, given their rights are the first to go!



Other 'Minorities' cards: Do Your Job | Blinding Arrogance | Modern Underground Railroad | Anti Defamation League | Anne Frank Foundation --> Click Here to see more Minorities cards!!

The Media

Torn between the clicks the Trump White House gives them, and the desire to stall the fall of the Republic!



Other 'Media' cards: Washington Post | Kurt Eichenwald | Both Sides | New York Times | The Opposition Party --> Click Here to see more Media cards!!

The Republican Establishment

Evil, but, you know, lawful evil! And by comparison, not as bad as we thought!



Other 'Republicans' cards: Dick Cheney | Rex Tillerson | Sarah Huckabee Sanders | Mike Pence | Rep Steve King --> Click Here to see more Republicans cards!!

The Antiestablishment Left

The house is on fire, and these people are still holding a grudge about Bernie.



Other 'Antiestablishment' cards: Wikileaks | Jill Stein Voter | Antifa | Useful Idiot | Radical Moose Lamb --> Click Here to see more Antiestablishment cards!!

Democrats

Usually feckless and corporatist, they are now in a situation where all they can do is play defense!!



Other 'Democrats' cards: Ivankas Petty Neighbor | Mike Godwin | John Kerry | Gloat | Pussy Grabs Back --> Click Here to see more Democrats cards!!

Bureaucrats

The only thing keeping us from chaos are career civil servants intent on serving America faithfully and trying not to get fired!



Other 'Bureaucrats' cards: Leaking Like a Sieve | Rogue NASA | Health Code Violation | Subpoena | Horrible No-Good Very Bad Weekend --> Click Here to see more Bureaucrats cards!!

Conspiracists

Our President treats Alex Jones as a credible news source. Just let that sink in.



Other 'Conspiracists' cards: Fake News | Breitbart Centipede | Roger Stone | Call to War | Russian Photographer --> Click Here to see more Conspiracists cards!!

Deplorables

The unholy marriage of sexism, white supremacy, and being an asshole to everyone on Twitter



Other 'Deplorables' cards: Jason Kessler | Fire and Fury | Grand Dragon | President Bannon | David Duke --> Click Here to see more Deplorables cards!!

Celebrities

Celebrities have opinions, which you value highly if they match yours!



Other 'Celebrities' cards: Oprah | Saturday Night Live | SatanistGlobalist Halftime Show | Streisand Effect | Emasculated --> Click Here to see more Celebrities cards!!

Armed Authorities

Customs officials and police feel the cuffs are off now when dealing with all those pesky brown and black people!



Other 'ArmedAuthority' cards: Pot Meet Kettle | FBI Raid | Infantile Tantrum | DHS Secretary John Kelly | Blue Lives Matter --> Click Here to see more ArmedAuthority cards!!

Multicolor (3+ Colors)

These are the things too awesome to fit your puny 2 color paradigm!



Other 'Multi' cards: Sergey Kislyak | Reality Leigh Winner | Notorious RBG | Tucker Carlson | The Real Story --> Click Here to see more Multi cards!!

Front Page | Black | Blue | Green | Red | White | Land | Artifact 3-Colors
Antiestablishment (B/G) | Armed Authorities (R/U) | Bureaucrats (U/W) | Celebrities (B/G) | Conspiracists (B/U)
Democrats (W/G) | Deplorables (R/B) | Media (R/W) | Minorities (G/R) | Republicans (B/W)

MAGA the Gathering is a parody site, and is not sponsored, endorsed or any way affiliated with Wizards of the Coast or Hasbro.

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