MAGA: the Blathering

An attempt to chronicle the ongoing decline of the American experiment at the hands of Orange Julius. This MAGA: the Blathering is a parody site based on Magic: the Gathering but has no affiliation with Hasbro or Wizards of the Coast, who own that property. For this reason, no, I'm not going to print and sell these cards, because I don't want to give their lawyers a good reason to poop the party.

Latest Additions!



Other brand new cards: Safe Space | Marshal of the Supreme Court | On Many Sides | Ratings Bonanza | Donald Trump Jr --> Click Here to see the most recently added cards!!

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Green

It's all about the left, be it minorities, dirty hippies or establishment democrats. Also, lots of the Mary Jane, if you know what I mean.



Other 'Green' cards: Women-Only Screening | Freudian Slip | LOL No | Jewish Klan Rally | Ineffective --> Click Here to see more Green cards!!

Blue

The part of government in the shadows, including both the bureaucratic ability to slow things down and the conspiracy theories that treat it with suspicion.



Other 'Blue' cards: Staring into the Void | Astound | Conspiracy Nut | Integrity Appropriation | Completely Safe --> Click Here to see more Blue cards!!

Black

Whether it's evil, stupidity, or terrible Smiths covers, black is the color of people in general being shitty to one another.



Other 'Black' cards: Defiance | Just Sign Right Here and Here | Palantyrannic Ritual | Ann Coulter | Self-Fellate --> Click Here to see more Black cards!!

White

White is the home of the Establishment, the part of Washington that doesn't like to rock the boat.



Other 'White' cards: Im Not With Him | Safe Space | Angela Merkel | White House Fence | Dont Like To Read --> Click Here to see more White cards!!

Red

Chaos! Damage! The Press! Deplorable assholes!.



Other 'Red' cards: Overcook with Ketchup | MOAB | Unleash the Butthurt | Subterranean Polling | Test Launch --> Click Here to see more Red cards!!

Land

Oh, the places we'll go! Assuming we're not detained indefinitely by customs for no legal reason!



Other 'Land' cards: Mar-a-Lago | Sizzler | Sweden | Atlanta | Colorado --> Click Here to see more Land cards!!

Artifacts

The emperor may have no clothes, but he sure likes to play with his toys!



Other 'Artifact' cards: Confederate Flag | Pussy Hat | Tiki Torch | Electoral Map | Stupid Plastic Button --> Click Here to see more Artifact cards!!

Armed Authorities

Customs officials and police feel the cuffs are off now when dealing with all those pesky brown and black people!



Other 'ArmedAuthority' cards: Pot Meet Kettle | Another Kent State | Infantile Tantrum | Take It Or Leave It | Testify --> Click Here to see more ArmedAuthority cards!!

Celebrities

Celebrities have opinions, which you value highly if they match yours!



Other 'Celebrities' cards: Kate McKinnon | SatanistGlobalist Halftime Show | Kathy Griffin | Faye Dunaway Warren Beatty | JK Rowling --> Click Here to see more Celebrities cards!!

The Media

Torn between the clicks the Trump White House gives them, and the desire to stall the fall of the Republic!



Other 'Media' cards: Snopes | Negative Press Covfefe | Faux Presidential | Real-Time Fact Checking | Both Sides --> Click Here to see more Media cards!!

The Antiestablishment Left

The house is on fire, and these people are still holding a grudge about Bernie.



Other 'Antiestablishment' cards: Useful Idiot | Jill Stein Voter | Antifa | Glenn Greenwald | Rep --> Click Here to see more Antiestablishment cards!!

Deplorables

The unholy marriage of sexism, white supremacy, and being an asshole to everyone on Twitter



Other 'Deplorables' cards: Lone Wolf | President Bannon | Grand Dragon | Donald Trump Jr | David Duke --> Click Here to see more Deplorables cards!!

The Republican Establishment

Evil, but, you know, lawful evil! And by comparison, not as bad as we thought!



Other 'Republicans' cards: Rex Tillerson | There Is No Christie Only Reek | Sarah Huckabee Sanders | Obamacare Lite | Scott Pruitt --> Click Here to see more Republicans cards!!

Bureaucrats

The only thing keeping us from chaos are career civil servants intent on serving America faithfully and trying not to get fired!



Other 'Bureaucrats' cards: Rogue NASA | Leaking Like a Sieve | Subpoena | Health Code Violation | Rogue Health Agency --> Click Here to see more Bureaucrats cards!!

Minority Voices

Pardon if they aren't quite as willing to suffer four years as Trump, given their rights are the first to go!



Other 'Minorities' cards: Anne Frank Foundation | Spirit of Coretta Scott King | Do Your Job | Ghost of Frederick Douglass | Anti Defamation League --> Click Here to see more Minorities cards!!

Conspiracists

Our President treats Alex Jones as a credible news source. Just let that sink in.



Other 'Conspiracists' cards: Roger Stone | Louise Mensch | Russian Photographer | Robert Kennedy Antivaxer Loon | Call to War --> Click Here to see more Conspiracists cards!!

Democrats

Usually feckless and corporatist, they are now in a situation where all they can do is play defense!!



Other 'Democrats' cards: Mike Godwin | John Kerry | Gloat | Rep Nancy Pelosi | Sen Al Franken --> Click Here to see more Democrats cards!!

Multicolor (3+ Colors)

These are the things too awesome to fit your puny 2 color paradigm!



Other 'Multi' cards: Sheriff Joe Arpaio | Tucker Carlson | Intelligence Community | Bill OReilly | James Comey --> Click Here to see more Multi cards!!

Front Page | Black | Blue | Green | Red | White | Land | Artifact 3-Colors
Antiestablishment (B/G) | Armed Authorities (R/U) | Bureaucrats (U/W) | Celebrities (B/G) | Conspiracists (B/U)
Democrats (W/G) | Deplorables (R/B) | Media (R/W) | Minorities (G/R) | Republicans (B/W)

MAGA the Gathering is a parody site, and is not sponsored, endorsed or any way affiliated with Wizards of the Coast or Hasbro.

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