MAGA: the Blathering

An attempt to chronicle the ongoing decline of the American experiment at the hands of Orange Julius. This MAGA: the Blathering is a parody site based on Magic: the Gathering but has no affiliation with Hasbro or Wizards of the Coast, who own that property. For this reason, no, I'm not going to print and sell these cards, because I don't want to give their lawyers a good reason to poop the party.

Latest Additions!



Other brand new cards: Safe Space | Donald Trump Jr | Im Not With Him | Ratings Bonanza | On Many Sides --> Click Here to see the most recently added cards!!

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Green

It's all about the left, be it minorities, dirty hippies or establishment democrats. Also, lots of the Mary Jane, if you know what I mean.



Other 'Green' cards: Freudian Slip | Women-Only Screening | Hurricane Harvey | Level of Viciousness | Flagrant Nepotism --> Click Here to see more Green cards!!

Blue

The part of government in the shadows, including both the bureaucratic ability to slow things down and the conspiracy theories that treat it with suspicion.



Other 'Blue' cards: Integrity Appropriation | Russian Backchannel | Marginalize | The ACLU | Do Over --> Click Here to see more Blue cards!!

White

White is the home of the Establishment, the part of Washington that doesn't like to rock the boat.



Other 'White' cards: Safe Space | True Believer | Disown | Predictable Blowback | You Just Got Here --> Click Here to see more White cards!!

Black

Whether it's evil, stupidity, or terrible Smiths covers, black is the color of people in general being shitty to one another.



Other 'Black' cards: Too Bad | Ann Coulter | Pardon | Desperation Axe | Trump-Brand Hooker --> Click Here to see more Black cards!!

Red

Chaos! Damage! The Press! Deplorable assholes!.



Other 'Red' cards: Mar-a-Lago Waitstaff | Fascism Forever Club | Overcook with Ketchup | Ranting and Raving | Memify That Shit --> Click Here to see more Red cards!!

Land

Oh, the places we'll go! Assuming we're not detained indefinitely by customs for no legal reason!



Other 'Land' cards: Mar-a-Lago | Comet Pizza | Bowling Green | Sweden | Iran --> Click Here to see more Land cards!!

Artifacts

The emperor may have no clothes, but he sure likes to play with his toys!



Other 'Artifact' cards: Secret Service Laptop | Golf Cart | Confederate Flag | Electoral Map | Certified Letter --> Click Here to see more Artifact cards!!

Bureaucrats

The only thing keeping us from chaos are career civil servants intent on serving America faithfully and trying not to get fired!



Other 'Bureaucrats' cards: Rogue NASA | CBO Score | Subpoena | Preet Bharara | Leaking Like a Sieve --> Click Here to see more Bureaucrats cards!!

The Republican Establishment

Evil, but, you know, lawful evil! And by comparison, not as bad as we thought!



Other 'Republicans' cards: Freedom Caucus | Rep Darrell Issa | Rep Paul Ryan | Frat Dreams | Hell No --> Click Here to see more Republicans cards!!

Conspiracists

Our President treats Alex Jones as a credible news source. Just let that sink in.



Other 'Conspiracists' cards: Louise Mensch | Recuse | Idiot | Repeal and Replace | Dmitry Rybolovlev --> Click Here to see more Conspiracists cards!!

The Media

Torn between the clicks the Trump White House gives them, and the desire to stall the fall of the Republic!



Other 'Media' cards: Kurt Eichenwald | Both Sides | The Opposition Party | Press Solidarity | Ted Koppel --> Click Here to see more Media cards!!

Celebrities

Celebrities have opinions, which you value highly if they match yours!



Other 'Celebrities' cards: SatanistGlobalist Halftime Show | Ariana Grande | JK Rowling | Hollywood Elite | Faye Dunaway Warren Beatty --> Click Here to see more Celebrities cards!!

The Antiestablishment Left

The house is on fire, and these people are still holding a grudge about Bernie.



Other 'Antiestablishment' cards: Useful Idiot | Antifa | Rep | Glenn Greenwald | Michael Tracey --> Click Here to see more Antiestablishment cards!!

Minority Voices

Pardon if they aren't quite as willing to suffer four years as Trump, given their rights are the first to go!



Other 'Minorities' cards: Do Your Job | Ghost of Frederick Douglass | Ballistic | Anti Defamation League | Spirit of Coretta Scott King --> Click Here to see more Minorities cards!!

Deplorables

The unholy marriage of sexism, white supremacy, and being an asshole to everyone on Twitter



Other 'Deplorables' cards: Sebastian Gorka | Nazi er Free Speech Rally | Fire and Fury | Manufactured War | Friendly Reporter --> Click Here to see more Deplorables cards!!

Democrats

Usually feckless and corporatist, they are now in a situation where all they can do is play defense!!



Other 'Democrats' cards: Gloat | Rep Kirsten Gillibrand | Nevertheless She Persisted | Mike Godwin | Yeah No --> Click Here to see more Democrats cards!!

Armed Authorities

Customs officials and police feel the cuffs are off now when dealing with all those pesky brown and black people!



Other 'ArmedAuthority' cards: Reaccommodate | Race the CBO Score | Statue of Nope | DHS Secretary John Kelly | Infantile Tantrum --> Click Here to see more ArmedAuthority cards!!

Multicolor (3+ Colors)

These are the things too awesome to fit your puny 2 color paradigm!



Other 'Multi' cards: Jared Kushner | Bill Maher | Notorious RBG | Tucker Carlson | Bill OReilly --> Click Here to see more Multi cards!!

Front Page | Black | Blue | Green | Red | White | Land | Artifact 3-Colors
Antiestablishment (B/G) | Armed Authorities (R/U) | Bureaucrats (U/W) | Celebrities (B/G) | Conspiracists (B/U)
Democrats (W/G) | Deplorables (R/B) | Media (R/W) | Minorities (G/R) | Republicans (B/W)

MAGA the Gathering is a parody site, and is not sponsored, endorsed or any way affiliated with Wizards of the Coast or Hasbro.

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