MAGA: the Blathering

An attempt to chronicle the ongoing decline of the American experiment at the hands of Orange Julius. This MAGA: the Blathering is a parody site based on Magic: the Gathering but has no affiliation with Hasbro or Wizards of the Coast, who own that property. For this reason, no, I'm not going to print and sell these cards, because I don't want to give their lawyers a good reason to poop the party.

Latest Additions!



Other brand new cards: Safe Space | Marshal of the Supreme Court | Donald Trump Jr | Im Not With Him | Ratings Bonanza --> Click Here to see the most recently added cards!!

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Green

It's all about the left, be it minorities, dirty hippies or establishment democrats. Also, lots of the Mary Jane, if you know what I mean.



Other 'Green' cards: Pooping Dog | Jewish Klan Rally | Level of Viciousness | Justin Joe Trudeau | Priming the Pump --> Click Here to see more Green cards!!

Blue

The part of government in the shadows, including both the bureaucratic ability to slow things down and the conspiracy theories that treat it with suspicion.



Other 'Blue' cards: Difficulty Recruiting | Thin Ice | Do Over | Revoke Visas | Conspiracy Nut --> Click Here to see more Blue cards!!

Red

Chaos! Damage! The Press! Deplorable assholes!.



Other 'Red' cards: On Many Sides | Gene | Big Boy Tonka Photo Op | Pep Rally in a Memorial Hall | Test Launch --> Click Here to see more Red cards!!

Black

Whether it's evil, stupidity, or terrible Smiths covers, black is the color of people in general being shitty to one another.



Other 'Black' cards: Empty the Executive Library | Fake Battleground | Palantyrannic Ritual | Trump-Brand Hooker | Lord Buckethead --> Click Here to see more Black cards!!

White

White is the home of the Establishment, the part of Washington that doesn't like to rock the boat.



Other 'White' cards: True Believer | Widows Garb | Liar | Predictable Blowback | Exceptionally Shitty Turnout --> Click Here to see more White cards!!

Artifacts

The emperor may have no clothes, but he sure likes to play with his toys!



Other 'Artifact' cards: Golf Cart | Chocolate Cake | Fine Tuned Machine | Stupid Plastic Button | Tape --> Click Here to see more Artifact cards!!

Land

Oh, the places we'll go! Assuming we're not detained indefinitely by customs for no legal reason!



Other 'Land' cards: Canada | Atlanta | White House | Iran | Trump Tower --> Click Here to see more Land cards!!

Celebrities

Celebrities have opinions, which you value highly if they match yours!



Other 'Celebrities' cards: SatanistGlobalist Halftime Show | Kathy Griffin | Faye Dunaway Warren Beatty | Meryl Streep | Saturday Night Live --> Click Here to see more Celebrities cards!!

The Media

Torn between the clicks the Trump White House gives them, and the desire to stall the fall of the Republic!



Other 'Media' cards: Faux Presidential | Anderson Cooper | Alexandra Petri | The Opposition Party | Holy Shit Indeed --> Click Here to see more Media cards!!

Armed Authorities

Customs officials and police feel the cuffs are off now when dealing with all those pesky brown and black people!



Other 'ArmedAuthority' cards: Blue Lives Matter | Tear Gas to the Nads | Take It Or Leave It | Hang Up | Testify --> Click Here to see more ArmedAuthority cards!!

Bureaucrats

The only thing keeping us from chaos are career civil servants intent on serving America faithfully and trying not to get fired!



Other 'Bureaucrats' cards: Subversive White House Aide | Health Code Violation | Decline to Defend | Sally Yates | Immunity --> Click Here to see more Bureaucrats cards!!

Deplorables

The unholy marriage of sexism, white supremacy, and being an asshole to everyone on Twitter



Other 'Deplorables' cards: Lone Wolf | Fire and Fury | Milo Yiannopoulos | Fake Racists | David Duke --> Click Here to see more Deplorables cards!!

Conspiracists

Our President treats Alex Jones as a credible news source. Just let that sink in.



Other 'Conspiracists' cards: Roger Stone | Fake News | Pretty Hate Machine | He Who Smelt It Dealt It | Peter Schweizer --> Click Here to see more Conspiracists cards!!

Minority Voices

Pardon if they aren't quite as willing to suffer four years as Trump, given their rights are the first to go!



Other 'Minorities' cards: Spirit of Coretta Scott King | Anti Defamation League | Ballistic | Blinding Arrogance | We All Hang Out --> Click Here to see more Minorities cards!!

The Republican Establishment

Evil, but, you know, lawful evil! And by comparison, not as bad as we thought!



Other 'Republicans' cards: Rules Change | Frat Dreams | Betsy DeVos | Rep Raul Labrador | Scott Pruitt --> Click Here to see more Republicans cards!!

The Antiestablishment Left

The house is on fire, and these people are still holding a grudge about Bernie.



Other 'Antiestablishment' cards: Radical Moose Lamb | Wikileaks | Rep | Useful Idiot | Susan Sarandon --> Click Here to see more Antiestablishment cards!!

Democrats

Usually feckless and corporatist, they are now in a situation where all they can do is play defense!!



Other 'Democrats' cards: Rep Ted Lieu | Ivankas Petty Neighbor | Buyers Remorse | Nevertheless She Persisted | John Kerry --> Click Here to see more Democrats cards!!

Multicolor (3+ Colors)

These are the things too awesome to fit your puny 2 color paradigm!



Other 'Multi' cards: Sheriff Joe Arpaio | Marshal of the Supreme Court | Intelligence Community | Tucker Carlson | Bill OReilly --> Click Here to see more Multi cards!!

Front Page | Black | Blue | Green | Red | White | Land | Artifact 3-Colors
Antiestablishment (B/G) | Armed Authorities (R/U) | Bureaucrats (U/W) | Celebrities (B/G) | Conspiracists (B/U)
Democrats (W/G) | Deplorables (R/B) | Media (R/W) | Minorities (G/R) | Republicans (B/W)

MAGA the Gathering is a parody site, and is not sponsored, endorsed or any way affiliated with Wizards of the Coast or Hasbro.

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