MAGA: the Blathering
An attempt to chronicle the ongoing decline of the American experiment at the hands of Orange Julius. This
MAGA: the Blathering is a parody site based on Magic: the Gathering but has no affiliation with Hasbro or Wizards of the Coast, who own that property. For this reason, no, I'm not going to print and sell these cards, because I don't want to give their lawyers a good reason to poop the party.
Other brand new cards: Safe Space | Donald Trump Jr | Ratings Bonanza | Marshal of the Supreme Court | Im Not With Him --> Click Here to see the most recently added cards!!
It's all about the left, be it minorities, dirty hippies or establishment democrats. Also, lots of the Mary Jane, if you know what I mean.
Other 'Green' cards: Level of Viciousness | Women-Only Screening | Punch a Nazi | Hide Behind Bushes | Jewish Klan Rally --> Click Here to see more Green cards!!
Whether it's evil, stupidity, or terrible Smiths covers, black is the color of people in general being shitty to one another.
Other 'Black' cards: Too Bad | Ratings Bonanza | Self-Fellate | Pardon | What a Crowd --> Click Here to see more Black cards!!
Chaos! Damage! The Press! Deplorable assholes!.
Other 'Red' cards: Totally Different | Big Boy Tonka Photo Op | Chicago Inner City Voters | Overcook with Ketchup | Abandoned by Your Party --> Click Here to see more Red cards!!
The part of government in the shadows, including both the bureaucratic ability to slow things down and the conspiracy theories that treat it with suspicion.
Other 'Blue' cards: Integrity Appropriation | Russian Backchannel | Dummy | Is This a Good Bill | Temporarily Detained --> Click Here to see more Blue cards!!
White is the home of the Establishment, the part of Washington that doesn't like to rock the boat.
Other 'White' cards: White House Fence | Parliamentary Rejection | Firm Handshake | Im Not With Him | Requires Constant Care Feeding --> Click Here to see more White cards!!
Oh, the places we'll go! Assuming we're not detained indefinitely by customs for no legal reason!
Other 'Land' cards: Colorado | Bowling Green | Sizzler | Comet Pizza | Trump Tower --> Click Here to see more Land cards!!
The emperor may have no clothes, but he sure likes to play with his toys!
Other 'Artifact' cards: Fine Tuned Machine | Light on an Unsecured Cellphone | Snap On Stealth Component | Golf Cart | Electoral Map --> Click Here to see more Artifact cards!!
Usually feckless and corporatist, they are now in a situation where all they can do is play defense!!
Other 'Democrats' cards: Mike Godwin | Nevertheless She Persisted | Mayor Sadiq Khan | John Kerry | Rep Nancy Pelosi --> Click Here to see more Democrats cards!!
Celebrities have opinions, which you value highly if they match yours!
Other 'Celebrities' cards: JK Rowling | Ariana Grande | Saturday Night Live | Ready to Serve | Faye Dunaway Warren Beatty --> Click Here to see more Celebrities cards!!
The only thing keeping us from chaos are career civil servants intent on serving America faithfully and trying not to get fired!
Other 'Bureaucrats' cards: Decline to Defend | Person of Interest | Leaking Like a Sieve | CBO Score | Communications Lockdown --> Click Here to see more Bureaucrats cards!!
The Republican Establishment
Evil, but, you know, lawful evil! And by comparison, not as bad as we thought!
Other 'Republicans' cards: Rex Tillerson | There Is No Christie Only Reek | Greg Gianforte | Frat Dreams | John McCain --> Click Here to see more Republicans cards!!
Torn between the clicks the Trump White House gives them, and the desire to stall the fall of the Republic!
Other 'Media' cards: Faux Presidential | Anderson Cooper | Suck It Up Buttercup | Real-Time Fact Checking | Alexandra Petri --> Click Here to see more Media cards!!
The Antiestablishment Left
The house is on fire, and these people are still holding a grudge about Bernie.
Other 'Antiestablishment' cards: Carter Page | Radical Moose Lamb | Michael Tracey | Useful Idiot | Wikileaks --> Click Here to see more Antiestablishment cards!!
Customs officials and police feel the cuffs are off now when dealing with all those pesky brown and black people!
Other 'ArmedAuthority' cards: Testify | FBI Raid | Reaccommodate | DHS Secretary John Kelly | The CPB --> Click Here to see more ArmedAuthority cards!!
The unholy marriage of sexism, white supremacy, and being an asshole to everyone on Twitter
Other 'Deplorables' cards: Nazi er Free Speech Rally | Lone Wolf | Sebastian Gorka | President Bannon | David Duke --> Click Here to see more Deplorables cards!!
Our President treats Alex Jones as a credible news source. Just let that sink in.
Other 'Conspiracists' cards: Peter Schweizer | Andrew Napolitano | Pretty Hate Machine | He Who Smelt It Dealt It | Prison Planet --> Click Here to see more Conspiracists cards!!
Pardon if they aren't quite as willing to suffer four years as Trump, given their rights are the first to go!
Other 'Minorities' cards: Anne Frank Foundation | Indivisible | Modern Underground Railroad | We All Hang Out | Ghost of Frederick Douglass --> Click Here to see more Minorities cards!!
Multicolor (3+ Colors)
These are the things too awesome to fit your puny 2 color paradigm!
Other 'Multi' cards: Ben Carson Brain Surgeon | James Comey | Tucker Carlson | Jeanine Pirro | Fox News --> Click Here to see more Multi cards!!
Front Page |
Antiestablishment (B/G) |
Armed Authorities (R/U) |
Bureaucrats (U/W) |
Celebrities (B/G) |
Democrats (W/G) |
Deplorables (R/B) |
Media (R/W) |
Minorities (G/R) |
MAGA the Gathering is a parody site, and is not sponsored, endorsed or any way affiliated with Wizards of the Coast or Hasbro.