MAGA: the Blathering
An attempt to chronicle the ongoing decline of the American experiment at the hands of Orange Julius. This
MAGA: the Blathering is a parody site based on Magic: the Gathering but has no affiliation with Hasbro or Wizards of the Coast, who own that property. For this reason, no, I'm not going to print and sell these cards, because I don't want to give their lawyers a good reason to poop the party.
Other brand new cards: What a Crowd | Donald Trump Jr | Im Not With Him | Ratings Bonanza | Marshal of the Supreme Court --> Click Here to see the most recently added cards!!
Chaos! Damage! The Press! Deplorable assholes!.
Other 'Red' cards: Big Boy Tonka Photo Op | Totally Different | Unleash the Butthurt | Overcook with Ketchup | Ranting and Raving --> Click Here to see more Red cards!!
White is the home of the Establishment, the part of Washington that doesn't like to rock the boat.
Other 'White' cards: Proportional Response | Dont Like To Read | Angela Merkel | Widows Garb | Twitter Purge --> Click Here to see more White cards!!
Whether it's evil, stupidity, or terrible Smiths covers, black is the color of people in general being shitty to one another.
Other 'Black' cards: Self-Fellate | Palantyrannic Ritual | Cuck | Desperation Axe | In The Dark --> Click Here to see more Black cards!!
The part of government in the shadows, including both the bureaucratic ability to slow things down and the conspiracy theories that treat it with suspicion.
Other 'Blue' cards: Thin Ice | Difficulty Recruiting | Is This a Good Bill | Russian Backchannel | Distress Call --> Click Here to see more Blue cards!!
It's all about the left, be it minorities, dirty hippies or establishment democrats. Also, lots of the Mary Jane, if you know what I mean.
Other 'Green' cards: LOL No | Women-Only Screening | Pooping Dog | Level of Viciousness | Flagrant Nepotism --> Click Here to see more Green cards!!
Oh, the places we'll go! Assuming we're not detained indefinitely by customs for no legal reason!
Other 'Land' cards: Trump Tower | Sweden | Comet Pizza | Colorado | Iran --> Click Here to see more Land cards!!
The emperor may have no clothes, but he sure likes to play with his toys!
Other 'Artifact' cards: Electoral Map | Chocolate Cake | Golf Cart | Gen Flynns Party Yacht | Easter Bunny Costume --> Click Here to see more Artifact cards!!
Customs officials and police feel the cuffs are off now when dealing with all those pesky brown and black people!
Other 'ArmedAuthority' cards: The CPB | Blue Lives Matter | Hang Up | Yuuuge Wall | Sheriff David Clarke --> Click Here to see more ArmedAuthority cards!!
Torn between the clicks the Trump White House gives them, and the desire to stall the fall of the Republic!
Other 'Media' cards: Kurt Eichenwald | Ted Koppel | Washington Post | Shepard Smith | David Farenthold --> Click Here to see more Media cards!!
The only thing keeping us from chaos are career civil servants intent on serving America faithfully and trying not to get fired!
Other 'Bureaucrats' cards: Unconstitutional | Thorough Refutation | Communications Lockdown | Sally Yates | CBO Score --> Click Here to see more Bureaucrats cards!!
The unholy marriage of sexism, white supremacy, and being an asshole to everyone on Twitter
Other 'Deplorables' cards: Donald Trump Jr | Grand Dragon | Jason Kessler | President Bannon | Lone Wolf --> Click Here to see more Deplorables cards!!
Pardon if they aren't quite as willing to suffer four years as Trump, given their rights are the first to go!
Other 'Minorities' cards: Do Your Job | Anti Defamation League | Modern Underground Railroad | Blinding Arrogance | Ghost of Frederick Douglass --> Click Here to see more Minorities cards!!
Celebrities have opinions, which you value highly if they match yours!
Other 'Celebrities' cards: Faye Dunaway Warren Beatty | Meryl Streep | SatanistGlobalist Halftime Show | Ariana Grande | JK Rowling --> Click Here to see more Celebrities cards!!
Our President treats Alex Jones as a credible news source. Just let that sink in.
Other 'Conspiracists' cards: Alex Jones | Breitbart Centipede | Russian Photographer | Idiot | Fox Friends --> Click Here to see more Conspiracists cards!!
The Republican Establishment
Evil, but, you know, lawful evil! And by comparison, not as bad as we thought!
Other 'Republicans' cards: John Boehner | Dick Cheney | John McCain | Sen Jeff Sessions | Rep Raul Labrador --> Click Here to see more Republicans cards!!
The Antiestablishment Left
The house is on fire, and these people are still holding a grudge about Bernie.
Other 'Antiestablishment' cards: Michael Tracey | Jill Stein Voter | Rep | Carter Page | Wikileaks --> Click Here to see more Antiestablishment cards!!
Usually feckless and corporatist, they are now in a situation where all they can do is play defense!!
Other 'Democrats' cards: Gabby Giffords | Democratic Slumber Party | Rep Kirsten Gillibrand | Rep Ted Lieu | Susan Rice --> Click Here to see more Democrats cards!!
Multicolor (3+ Colors)
These are the things too awesome to fit your puny 2 color paradigm!
Other 'Multi' cards: Bill OReilly | Ben Carson Brain Surgeon | James Comey | Jared Kushner | Bill Maher --> Click Here to see more Multi cards!!
Front Page |
Antiestablishment (B/G) |
Armed Authorities (R/U) |
Bureaucrats (U/W) |
Celebrities (B/G) |
Democrats (W/G) |
Deplorables (R/B) |
Media (R/W) |
Minorities (G/R) |
MAGA the Gathering is a parody site, and is not sponsored, endorsed or any way affiliated with Wizards of the Coast or Hasbro.