MAGA: the Blathering
An attempt to chronicle the ongoing decline of the American experiment at the hands of Orange Julius. This
MAGA: the Blathering is a parody site based on Magic: the Gathering but has no affiliation with Hasbro or Wizards of the Coast, who own that property. For this reason, no, I'm not going to print and sell these cards, because I don't want to give their lawyers a good reason to poop the party.
Other brand new cards: LOL No | On Many Sides | Marshal of the Supreme Court | Donald Trump Jr | Im Not With Him --> Click Here to see the most recently added cards!!
It's all about the left, be it minorities, dirty hippies or establishment democrats. Also, lots of the Mary Jane, if you know what I mean.
Other 'Green' cards: Pooping Dog | Jewish Klan Rally | Freudian Slip | Justin Joe Trudeau | Women-Only Screening --> Click Here to see more Green cards!!
The part of government in the shadows, including both the bureaucratic ability to slow things down and the conspiracy theories that treat it with suspicion.
Other 'Blue' cards: Weak Ass Defense | Astound | Faceless Bureaucrat | Interesting Omissions | Internet Hoax --> Click Here to see more Blue cards!!
White is the home of the Establishment, the part of Washington that doesn't like to rock the boat.
Other 'White' cards: Disown | True Believer | White House Fence | Firm Handshake | Requires Constant Care Feeding --> Click Here to see more White cards!!
Chaos! Damage! The Press! Deplorable assholes!.
Other 'Red' cards: The Fuckin Mooch | Body Slam | Overcook with Ketchup | Big Boy Tonka Photo Op | Mar-a-Lago Waitstaff --> Click Here to see more Red cards!!
Whether it's evil, stupidity, or terrible Smiths covers, black is the color of people in general being shitty to one another.
Other 'Black' cards: Defiance | What a Crowd | Cuck | Fake Battleground | Just Sign Right Here and Here --> Click Here to see more Black cards!!
The emperor may have no clothes, but he sure likes to play with his toys!
Other 'Artifact' cards: Tiki Torch | Fine Tuned Machine | Easter Bunny Costume | Golf Cart | Chocolate Cake --> Click Here to see more Artifact cards!!
Oh, the places we'll go! Assuming we're not detained indefinitely by customs for no legal reason!
Other 'Land' cards: Comet Pizza | Colorado | Sweden | Syria | Bowling Green --> Click Here to see more Land cards!!
Celebrities have opinions, which you value highly if they match yours!
Other 'Celebrities' cards: Ready to Serve | Oprah | Ariana Grande | Kendall Jenner | Meryl Streep --> Click Here to see more Celebrities cards!!
Usually feckless and corporatist, they are now in a situation where all they can do is play defense!!
Other 'Democrats' cards: Rep Kirsten Gillibrand | John Kerry | Susan Rice | Gabby Giffords | Font of Embarrassment --> Click Here to see more Democrats cards!!
Customs officials and police feel the cuffs are off now when dealing with all those pesky brown and black people!
Other 'ArmedAuthority' cards: National Guard | The CPB | Blue Lives Matter | Infantile Tantrum | Race the CBO Score --> Click Here to see more ArmedAuthority cards!!
The Republican Establishment
Evil, but, you know, lawful evil! And by comparison, not as bad as we thought!
Other 'Republicans' cards: Mike Pence | John McCain | Sarah Huckabee Sanders | Rep Devin Nunes | Obamacare Lite --> Click Here to see more Republicans cards!!
The unholy marriage of sexism, white supremacy, and being an asshole to everyone on Twitter
Other 'Deplorables' cards: Jason Kessler | Fire and Fury | President Bannon | Nazi er Free Speech Rally | General Michael Flynn --> Click Here to see more Deplorables cards!!
Torn between the clicks the Trump White House gives them, and the desire to stall the fall of the Republic!
Other 'Media' cards: Ted Koppel | Snopes | Washington Post | Suck It Up Buttercup | Holy Shit Indeed --> Click Here to see more Media cards!!
Pardon if they aren't quite as willing to suffer four years as Trump, given their rights are the first to go!
Other 'Minorities' cards: Southern Poverty Law Center | Rep John Lewis | Do Your Job | Ballistic | Spirit of Coretta Scott King --> Click Here to see more Minorities cards!!
The only thing keeping us from chaos are career civil servants intent on serving America faithfully and trying not to get fired!
Other 'Bureaucrats' cards: CBO Score | Subversive White House Aide | Thorough Refutation | Preet Bharara | Rogue NASA --> Click Here to see more Bureaucrats cards!!
The Antiestablishment Left
The house is on fire, and these people are still holding a grudge about Bernie.
Other 'Antiestablishment' cards: Michael Tracey | Rep | Useful Idiot | Radical Moose Lamb | Jill Fucking Stein --> Click Here to see more Antiestablishment cards!!
Our President treats Alex Jones as a credible news source. Just let that sink in.
Other 'Conspiracists' cards: Breitbart Centipede | Roger Stone | Gateway Pundit | He Who Smelt It Dealt It | Peter Schweizer --> Click Here to see more Conspiracists cards!!
Multicolor (3+ Colors)
These are the things too awesome to fit your puny 2 color paradigm!
Other 'Multi' cards: Notorious RBG | Bill Maher | Sergey Kislyak | Jared Kushner | Marshal of the Supreme Court --> Click Here to see more Multi cards!!
Front Page |
Antiestablishment (B/G) |
Armed Authorities (R/U) |
Bureaucrats (U/W) |
Celebrities (B/G) |
Democrats (W/G) |
Deplorables (R/B) |
Media (R/W) |
Minorities (G/R) |
MAGA the Gathering is a parody site, and is not sponsored, endorsed or any way affiliated with Wizards of the Coast or Hasbro.