MAGA: the Blathering

An attempt to chronicle the ongoing decline of the American experiment at the hands of Orange Julius. This MAGA: the Blathering is a parody site based on Magic: the Gathering but has no affiliation with Hasbro or Wizards of the Coast, who own that property. For this reason, no, I'm not going to print and sell these cards, because I don't want to give their lawyers a good reason to poop the party.

Latest Additions!



Other brand new cards: Safe Space | On Many Sides | Marshal of the Supreme Court | Ratings Bonanza | Im Not With Him --> Click Here to see the most recently added cards!!
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Red

Chaos! Damage! The Press! Deplorable assholes!.



Other 'Red' cards: Nazi Salute | Body Slam | Totally Different | Big Boy Tonka Photo Op | Me First --> Click Here to see more Red cards!!

Black

Whether it's evil, stupidity, or terrible Smiths covers, black is the color of people in general being shitty to one another.



Other 'Black' cards: Empty the Executive Library | Cuck | Ann Coulter | Ratings Bonanza | Just Sign Right Here and Here --> Click Here to see more Black cards!!

White

White is the home of the Establishment, the part of Washington that doesn't like to rock the boat.



Other 'White' cards: White House Fence | Pope Francis | Predictable Blowback | No Not That One | Early Warning --> Click Here to see more White cards!!

Blue

The part of government in the shadows, including both the bureaucratic ability to slow things down and the conspiracy theories that treat it with suspicion.



Other 'Blue' cards: Misinterpreted | Astound | Wander Off | Internet Hoax | Conspiracy Nut --> Click Here to see more Blue cards!!

Green

It's all about the left, be it minorities, dirty hippies or establishment democrats. Also, lots of the Mary Jane, if you know what I mean.



Other 'Green' cards: Level of Viciousness | LOL No | Women-Only Screening | George Clooney | Hide Behind Bushes --> Click Here to see more Green cards!!

Land

Oh, the places we'll go! Assuming we're not detained indefinitely by customs for no legal reason!



Other 'Land' cards: Mar-a-Lago | Canada | Colorado | Bowling Green | Comet Pizza --> Click Here to see more Land cards!!

Artifacts

The emperor may have no clothes, but he sure likes to play with his toys!



Other 'Artifact' cards: Pussy Hat | Cheap Coke | Fine Tuned Machine | Golf Cart | Snap On Stealth Component --> Click Here to see more Artifact cards!!

The Republican Establishment

Evil, but, you know, lawful evil! And by comparison, not as bad as we thought!



Other 'Republicans' cards: Rules Change | Sarah Huckabee Sanders | Betsy DeVos | John McCain | Rep Devin Nunes --> Click Here to see more Republicans cards!!

Deplorables

The unholy marriage of sexism, white supremacy, and being an asshole to everyone on Twitter



Other 'Deplorables' cards: David Duke | Nazi er Free Speech Rally | Jason Kessler | Lone Wolf | Fire and Fury --> Click Here to see more Deplorables cards!!

Minority Voices

Pardon if they aren't quite as willing to suffer four years as Trump, given their rights are the first to go!



Other 'Minorities' cards: Spirit of Coretta Scott King | Ballistic | Do Your Job | Anti Defamation League | Modern Underground Railroad --> Click Here to see more Minorities cards!!

Celebrities

Celebrities have opinions, which you value highly if they match yours!



Other 'Celebrities' cards: Faye Dunaway Warren Beatty | JK Rowling | SatanistGlobalist Halftime Show | Ariana Grande | Saturday Night Live --> Click Here to see more Celebrities cards!!

Democrats

Usually feckless and corporatist, they are now in a situation where all they can do is play defense!!



Other 'Democrats' cards: Ivankas Petty Neighbor | Gloat | Daylin Leach | John Kerry | George Soros Secret Pussyhat Donor --> Click Here to see more Democrats cards!!

Bureaucrats

The only thing keeping us from chaos are career civil servants intent on serving America faithfully and trying not to get fired!



Other 'Bureaucrats' cards: Unconstitutional | Subpoena | CBO Score | Rogue NASA | Desperate Archivists --> Click Here to see more Bureaucrats cards!!

Conspiracists

Our President treats Alex Jones as a credible news source. Just let that sink in.



Other 'Conspiracists' cards: Fox Friends | Roger Stone | Big Creepy Brother | Alex Jones | Robert Kennedy Antivaxer Loon --> Click Here to see more Conspiracists cards!!

The Media

Torn between the clicks the Trump White House gives them, and the desire to stall the fall of the Republic!



Other 'Media' cards: Kurt Eichenwald | Uncredible | Press Solidarity | Negative Press Covfefe | Dan Rather --> Click Here to see more Media cards!!

The Antiestablishment Left

The house is on fire, and these people are still holding a grudge about Bernie.



Other 'Antiestablishment' cards: The Young Turks | Jill Stein Voter | Useful Idiot | Wikileaks | Jill Fucking Stein --> Click Here to see more Antiestablishment cards!!

Armed Authorities

Customs officials and police feel the cuffs are off now when dealing with all those pesky brown and black people!



Other 'ArmedAuthority' cards: FBI Raid | Blue Lives Matter | Reaccommodate | Infantile Tantrum | Pot Meet Kettle --> Click Here to see more ArmedAuthority cards!!

Multicolor (3+ Colors)

These are the things too awesome to fit your puny 2 color paradigm!



Other 'Multi' cards: Bring On Climate Change | Intelligence Community | Jared Kushner | Marshal of the Supreme Court | The Real Story --> Click Here to see more Multi cards!!

Front Page | Black | Blue | Green | Red | White | Land | Artifact 3-Colors
Antiestablishment (B/G) | Armed Authorities (R/U) | Bureaucrats (U/W) | Celebrities (B/G) | Conspiracists (B/U)
Democrats (W/G) | Deplorables (R/B) | Media (R/W) | Minorities (G/R) | Republicans (B/W)

MAGA the Gathering is a parody site, and is not sponsored, endorsed or any way affiliated with Wizards of the Coast or Hasbro.

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