MAGA: the Blathering
An attempt to chronicle the ongoing decline of the American experiment at the hands of Orange Julius. This
MAGA: the Blathering is a parody site based on Magic: the Gathering but has no affiliation with Hasbro or Wizards of the Coast, who own that property. For this reason, no, I'm not going to print and sell these cards, because I don't want to give their lawyers a good reason to poop the party.
Other brand new cards: What a Crowd | Donald Trump Jr | Marshal of the Supreme Court | On Many Sides | Im Not With Him --> Click Here to see the most recently added cards!!
Whether it's evil, stupidity, or terrible Smiths covers, black is the color of people in general being shitty to one another.
Other 'Black' cards: Fake Battleground | Pardon | Ratings Bonanza | Ann Coulter | Defiance --> Click Here to see more Black cards!!
White is the home of the Establishment, the part of Washington that doesn't like to rock the boat.
Other 'White' cards: Dont Like To Read | Im Not With Him | Angela Merkel | Widows Garb | Disown --> Click Here to see more White cards!!
Chaos! Damage! The Press! Deplorable assholes!.
Other 'Red' cards: Nazi Salute | Unleash the Butthurt | Totally Different | Me First | Gene --> Click Here to see more Red cards!!
The part of government in the shadows, including both the bureaucratic ability to slow things down and the conspiracy theories that treat it with suspicion.
Other 'Blue' cards: Interesting Omissions | Fake Massacre | Ethics Violation | Negotiate in Secrecy | Alternate Facts --> Click Here to see more Blue cards!!
It's all about the left, be it minorities, dirty hippies or establishment democrats. Also, lots of the Mary Jane, if you know what I mean.
Other 'Green' cards: Pooping Dog | Women-Only Screening | Justin Joe Trudeau | Jewish Klan Rally | Priming the Pump --> Click Here to see more Green cards!!
Oh, the places we'll go! Assuming we're not detained indefinitely by customs for no legal reason!
Other 'Land' cards: Holocaust Center | Comet Pizza | Trump Tower | Sizzler | Syria --> Click Here to see more Land cards!!
The emperor may have no clothes, but he sure likes to play with his toys!
Other 'Artifact' cards: Electoral Map | Tiki Torch | Lint Roller | Uranium | Hackable Voting Machines --> Click Here to see more Artifact cards!!
The only thing keeping us from chaos are career civil servants intent on serving America faithfully and trying not to get fired!
Other 'Bureaucrats' cards: Horrible No-Good Very Bad Weekend | Subversive White House Aide | Sally Yates | Rogue Health Agency | Person of Interest --> Click Here to see more Bureaucrats cards!!
Usually feckless and corporatist, they are now in a situation where all they can do is play defense!!
Other 'Democrats' cards: Sen Elizabeth Warren | Rep Kirsten Gillibrand | Paid Protestors | Democratic Slumber Party | Font of Embarrassment --> Click Here to see more Democrats cards!!
Torn between the clicks the Trump White House gives them, and the desire to stall the fall of the Republic!
Other 'Media' cards: Alexandra Petri | New York Times | Negative Press Covfefe | Suck It Up Buttercup | Dan Rather --> Click Here to see more Media cards!!
Pardon if they aren't quite as willing to suffer four years as Trump, given their rights are the first to go!
Other 'Minorities' cards: Anti Defamation League | Anne Frank Foundation | Indivisible | Do Your Job | Modern Underground Railroad --> Click Here to see more Minorities cards!!
Our President treats Alex Jones as a credible news source. Just let that sink in.
Other 'Conspiracists' cards: Roger Stone | Andrew Napolitano | Bill Mitchell | Alex Jones | Dmitry Rybolovlev --> Click Here to see more Conspiracists cards!!
The unholy marriage of sexism, white supremacy, and being an asshole to everyone on Twitter
Other 'Deplorables' cards: Sebastian Gorka | Donald Trump Jr | Dakota Access Pipeline | Stormfront | Some Light Treason --> Click Here to see more Deplorables cards!!
The Republican Establishment
Evil, but, you know, lawful evil! And by comparison, not as bad as we thought!
Other 'Republicans' cards: There Is No Christie Only Reek | Freedom Caucus | Rep Darrell Issa | Hell No | Obamacare Lite --> Click Here to see more Republicans cards!!
The Antiestablishment Left
The house is on fire, and these people are still holding a grudge about Bernie.
Other 'Antiestablishment' cards: The Young Turks | Rep | Jill Stein Voter | Radical Moose Lamb | Carter Page --> Click Here to see more Antiestablishment cards!!
Celebrities have opinions, which you value highly if they match yours!
Other 'Celebrities' cards: Oprah | SatanistGlobalist Halftime Show | Faye Dunaway Warren Beatty | Kate McKinnon | Ready to Serve --> Click Here to see more Celebrities cards!!
Customs officials and police feel the cuffs are off now when dealing with all those pesky brown and black people!
Other 'ArmedAuthority' cards: Testify | DHS Secretary John Kelly | Reaccommodate | Statue of Nope | Blue Lives Matter --> Click Here to see more ArmedAuthority cards!!
Multicolor (3+ Colors)
These are the things too awesome to fit your puny 2 color paradigm!
Other 'Multi' cards: Sheriff Joe Arpaio | Reality Leigh Winner | Intelligence Community | James Comey | Bill OReilly --> Click Here to see more Multi cards!!
Front Page |
Antiestablishment (B/G) |
Armed Authorities (R/U) |
Bureaucrats (U/W) |
Celebrities (B/G) |
Democrats (W/G) |
Deplorables (R/B) |
Media (R/W) |
Minorities (G/R) |
MAGA the Gathering is a parody site, and is not sponsored, endorsed or any way affiliated with Wizards of the Coast or Hasbro.