MAGA: the Blathering

An attempt to chronicle the ongoing decline of the American experiment at the hands of Orange Julius. This MAGA: the Blathering is a parody site based on Magic: the Gathering but has no affiliation with Hasbro or Wizards of the Coast, who own that property. For this reason, no, I'm not going to print and sell these cards, because I don't want to give their lawyers a good reason to poop the party.

Latest Additions!



Other brand new cards: What a Crowd | On Many Sides | Ratings Bonanza | Im Not With Him | Donald Trump Jr --> Click Here to see the most recently added cards!!

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Blue

The part of government in the shadows, including both the bureaucratic ability to slow things down and the conspiracy theories that treat it with suspicion.



Other 'Blue' cards: Staring into the Void | Astound | Russian Backchannel | Completely Safe | Interesting Omissions --> Click Here to see more Blue cards!!

Black

Whether it's evil, stupidity, or terrible Smiths covers, black is the color of people in general being shitty to one another.



Other 'Black' cards: Palantyrannic Ritual | Empty the Executive Library | Cuck | Dickishly Preferential Treatment | Trump-Brand Hooker --> Click Here to see more Black cards!!

Green

It's all about the left, be it minorities, dirty hippies or establishment democrats. Also, lots of the Mary Jane, if you know what I mean.



Other 'Green' cards: Punch a Nazi | Pooping Dog | Higher Purpose | LOL No | Jewish Klan Rally --> Click Here to see more Green cards!!

Red

Chaos! Damage! The Press! Deplorable assholes!.



Other 'Red' cards: Youre Fired | On Many Sides | Test Launch | On Notice | Gene --> Click Here to see more Red cards!!

White

White is the home of the Establishment, the part of Washington that doesn't like to rock the boat.



Other 'White' cards: Disown | Total Eclipse of the Derp | Widows Garb | Safe Space | Proportional Response --> Click Here to see more White cards!!

Artifacts

The emperor may have no clothes, but he sure likes to play with his toys!



Other 'Artifact' cards: Secret Service Laptop | Confederate Flag | Easter Bunny Costume | Golf Cart | Caked-On Bronzer --> Click Here to see more Artifact cards!!

Land

Oh, the places we'll go! Assuming we're not detained indefinitely by customs for no legal reason!



Other 'Land' cards: Holocaust Center | Trump Tower | White House | Colorado | Syria --> Click Here to see more Land cards!!

The Media

Torn between the clicks the Trump White House gives them, and the desire to stall the fall of the Republic!



Other 'Media' cards: Washington Post | Suck It Up Buttercup | Snopes | David Farenthold | Ted Koppel --> Click Here to see more Media cards!!

Celebrities

Celebrities have opinions, which you value highly if they match yours!



Other 'Celebrities' cards: Oprah | Kathy Griffin | Streisand Effect | Meryl Streep | JK Rowling --> Click Here to see more Celebrities cards!!

Bureaucrats

The only thing keeping us from chaos are career civil servants intent on serving America faithfully and trying not to get fired!



Other 'Bureaucrats' cards: Rogue NASA | CBO Score | Sally Yates | Subversive White House Aide | Immunity --> Click Here to see more Bureaucrats cards!!

Armed Authorities

Customs officials and police feel the cuffs are off now when dealing with all those pesky brown and black people!



Other 'ArmedAuthority' cards: Testify | Tear Gas to the Nads | Yuuuge Wall | Infantile Tantrum | The CPB --> Click Here to see more ArmedAuthority cards!!

Democrats

Usually feckless and corporatist, they are now in a situation where all they can do is play defense!!



Other 'Democrats' cards: Nevertheless She Persisted | Sen Elizabeth Warren | John Kerry | Gloat | George Soros Secret Pussyhat Donor --> Click Here to see more Democrats cards!!

Minority Voices

Pardon if they aren't quite as willing to suffer four years as Trump, given their rights are the first to go!



Other 'Minorities' cards: Spirit of Coretta Scott King | Blinding Arrogance | Anne Frank Foundation | Anti Defamation League | Ghost of Frederick Douglass --> Click Here to see more Minorities cards!!

The Antiestablishment Left

The house is on fire, and these people are still holding a grudge about Bernie.



Other 'Antiestablishment' cards: Wikileaks | Michael Tracey | Useful Idiot | Rep | Jill Fucking Stein --> Click Here to see more Antiestablishment cards!!

The Republican Establishment

Evil, but, you know, lawful evil! And by comparison, not as bad as we thought!



Other 'Republicans' cards: Rex Tillerson | Betsy DeVos | John McCain | Freedom Caucus | Rules Change --> Click Here to see more Republicans cards!!

Conspiracists

Our President treats Alex Jones as a credible news source. Just let that sink in.



Other 'Conspiracists' cards: Call to War | Pretty Hate Machine | Big Creepy Brother | Roger Stone | Breitbart Centipede --> Click Here to see more Conspiracists cards!!

Deplorables

The unholy marriage of sexism, white supremacy, and being an asshole to everyone on Twitter



Other 'Deplorables' cards: Grand Dragon | Nazi er Free Speech Rally | President Bannon | David Duke | Friendly Reporter --> Click Here to see more Deplorables cards!!

Multicolor (3+ Colors)

These are the things too awesome to fit your puny 2 color paradigm!



Other 'Multi' cards: Bring On Climate Change | James Comey | Jared Kushner | Reality Leigh Winner | Tucker Carlson --> Click Here to see more Multi cards!!

Front Page | Black | Blue | Green | Red | White | Land | Artifact 3-Colors
Antiestablishment (B/G) | Armed Authorities (R/U) | Bureaucrats (U/W) | Celebrities (B/G) | Conspiracists (B/U)
Democrats (W/G) | Deplorables (R/B) | Media (R/W) | Minorities (G/R) | Republicans (B/W)

MAGA the Gathering is a parody site, and is not sponsored, endorsed or any way affiliated with Wizards of the Coast or Hasbro.

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