MAGA: the Blathering
An attempt to chronicle the ongoing decline of the American experiment at the hands of Orange Julius. This
MAGA: the Blathering is a parody site based on Magic: the Gathering but has no affiliation with Hasbro or Wizards of the Coast, who own that property. For this reason, no, I'm not going to print and sell these cards, because I don't want to give their lawyers a good reason to poop the party.
Other brand new cards: Safe Space | Ratings Bonanza | Donald Trump Jr | Marshal of the Supreme Court | On Many Sides --> Click Here to see the most recently added cards!!
White is the home of the Establishment, the part of Washington that doesn't like to rock the boat.
Other 'White' cards: Widows Garb | True Believer | You Just Got Here | Retweeted White Supremacists | Politifact --> Click Here to see more White cards!!
It's all about the left, be it minorities, dirty hippies or establishment democrats. Also, lots of the Mary Jane, if you know what I mean.
Other 'Green' cards: Freudian Slip | LOL No | Hide Behind Bushes | Apologize | Flagrant Nepotism --> Click Here to see more Green cards!!
The part of government in the shadows, including both the bureaucratic ability to slow things down and the conspiracy theories that treat it with suspicion.
Other 'Blue' cards: Misinterpreted | Russian Backchannel | Completely Safe | Internet Hoax | Alternate Facts --> Click Here to see more Blue cards!!
Whether it's evil, stupidity, or terrible Smiths covers, black is the color of people in general being shitty to one another.
Other 'Black' cards: Pardon | Cuck | Trump-Brand Hooker | Ann Coulter | Self-Fellate --> Click Here to see more Black cards!!
Chaos! Damage! The Press! Deplorable assholes!.
Other 'Red' cards: On Many Sides | Body Slam | Youre Fired | MOAB | Narcissistic Cabinet Meeting --> Click Here to see more Red cards!!
Oh, the places we'll go! Assuming we're not detained indefinitely by customs for no legal reason!
Other 'Land' cards: Holocaust Center | Sweden | Syria | Comet Pizza | Canada --> Click Here to see more Land cards!!
The emperor may have no clothes, but he sure likes to play with his toys!
Other 'Artifact' cards: Electoral Map | Snap On Stealth Component | Fine Tuned Machine | U | Confederate Flag --> Click Here to see more Artifact cards!!
Usually feckless and corporatist, they are now in a situation where all they can do is play defense!!
Other 'Democrats' cards: John Kerry | George Soros Secret Pussyhat Donor | Gabby Giffords | Mike Godwin | Font of Embarrassment --> Click Here to see more Democrats cards!!
The Republican Establishment
Evil, but, you know, lawful evil! And by comparison, not as bad as we thought!
Other 'Republicans' cards: Sarah Huckabee Sanders | There Is No Christie Only Reek | Rex Tillerson | Ban the Press | Rudy Guiliani --> Click Here to see more Republicans cards!!
The Antiestablishment Left
The house is on fire, and these people are still holding a grudge about Bernie.
Other 'Antiestablishment' cards: Useful Idiot | Antifa | Wikileaks | Rep | Michael Tracey --> Click Here to see more Antiestablishment cards!!
Celebrities have opinions, which you value highly if they match yours!
Other 'Celebrities' cards: Faye Dunaway Warren Beatty | Oprah | Kendall Jenner | Hollywood Elite | Switch Jobs --> Click Here to see more Celebrities cards!!
Torn between the clicks the Trump White House gives them, and the desire to stall the fall of the Republic!
Other 'Media' cards: Suck It Up Buttercup | Alexandra Petri | Dan Rather | Fact Checking Chyron | The Opposition Party --> Click Here to see more Media cards!!
The only thing keeping us from chaos are career civil servants intent on serving America faithfully and trying not to get fired!
Other 'Bureaucrats' cards: CBO Score | Health Code Violation | Rogue NASA | Preet Bharara | Unreliable Secret Service --> Click Here to see more Bureaucrats cards!!
The unholy marriage of sexism, white supremacy, and being an asshole to everyone on Twitter
Other 'Deplorables' cards: Nazi er Free Speech Rally | Donald Trump Jr | Jason Kessler | Sebastian Gorka | You Like Me I Like You --> Click Here to see more Deplorables cards!!
Pardon if they aren't quite as willing to suffer four years as Trump, given their rights are the first to go!
Other 'Minorities' cards: Rep John Lewis | Anti Defamation League | We All Hang Out | Anne Frank Foundation | Spirit of Coretta Scott King --> Click Here to see more Minorities cards!!
Our President treats Alex Jones as a credible news source. Just let that sink in.
Other 'Conspiracists' cards: Alex Jones | Andrew Napolitano | Pretty Hate Machine | Disable Recording with Russians | Breitbart Centipede --> Click Here to see more Conspiracists cards!!
Customs officials and police feel the cuffs are off now when dealing with all those pesky brown and black people!
Other 'ArmedAuthority' cards: Pot Meet Kettle | Reaccommodate | Testify | Blue Lives Matter | Sheriff David Clarke --> Click Here to see more ArmedAuthority cards!!
Multicolor (3+ Colors)
These are the things too awesome to fit your puny 2 color paradigm!
Other 'Multi' cards: Bill OReilly | Tucker Carlson | Marshal of the Supreme Court | Megan Kelly | Resurrect Ancient Evidence --> Click Here to see more Multi cards!!
Front Page |
Antiestablishment (B/G) |
Armed Authorities (R/U) |
Bureaucrats (U/W) |
Celebrities (B/G) |
Democrats (W/G) |
Deplorables (R/B) |
Media (R/W) |
Minorities (G/R) |
MAGA the Gathering is a parody site, and is not sponsored, endorsed or any way affiliated with Wizards of the Coast or Hasbro.