MAGA: the Blathering

An attempt to chronicle the ongoing decline of the American experiment at the hands of Orange Julius. This MAGA: the Blathering is a parody site based on Magic: the Gathering but has no affiliation with Hasbro or Wizards of the Coast, who own that property. For this reason, no, I'm not going to print and sell these cards, because I don't want to give their lawyers a good reason to poop the party.

Latest Additions!



Other brand new cards: Safe Space | On Many Sides | Im Not With Him | Marshal of the Supreme Court | Donald Trump Jr --> Click Here to see the most recently added cards!!

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Green

It's all about the left, be it minorities, dirty hippies or establishment democrats. Also, lots of the Mary Jane, if you know what I mean.



Other 'Green' cards: Pooping Dog | Jewish Klan Rally | LOL No | Hide Behind Bushes | Level of Viciousness --> Click Here to see more Green cards!!

White

White is the home of the Establishment, the part of Washington that doesn't like to rock the boat.



Other 'White' cards: Requires Constant Care Feeding | Widows Garb | Total Eclipse of the Derp | Firm Handshake | Safe Space --> Click Here to see more White cards!!

Red

Chaos! Damage! The Press! Deplorable assholes!.



Other 'Red' cards: Unleash the Butthurt | Body Slam | Tweet Password | Big Boy Tonka Photo Op | Literally Insane Gun Owners --> Click Here to see more Red cards!!

Black

Whether it's evil, stupidity, or terrible Smiths covers, black is the color of people in general being shitty to one another.



Other 'Black' cards: Too Bad | Protect Heritage | Cuck | Trump-Brand Hooker | Empty the Executive Library --> Click Here to see more Black cards!!

Blue

The part of government in the shadows, including both the bureaucratic ability to slow things down and the conspiracy theories that treat it with suspicion.



Other 'Blue' cards: Extreme Vetting | Thin Ice | Stephen Colbert | Conspiracy Nut | Ethics Violation --> Click Here to see more Blue cards!!

Land

Oh, the places we'll go! Assuming we're not detained indefinitely by customs for no legal reason!



Other 'Land' cards: Holocaust Center | Bowling Green | Sizzler | Trump Tower | Colorado --> Click Here to see more Land cards!!

Artifacts

The emperor may have no clothes, but he sure likes to play with his toys!



Other 'Artifact' cards: Pussy Hat | Secret Service Laptop | Golf Cart | Milk Assumedly Whole Not 2 | U --> Click Here to see more Artifact cards!!

The Antiestablishment Left

The house is on fire, and these people are still holding a grudge about Bernie.



Other 'Antiestablishment' cards: Jill Stein Voter | Rep | Useful Idiot | Radical Moose Lamb | Wikileaks --> Click Here to see more Antiestablishment cards!!

Bureaucrats

The only thing keeping us from chaos are career civil servants intent on serving America faithfully and trying not to get fired!



Other 'Bureaucrats' cards: Not Quite Yet | Subversive White House Aide | Flip | Unreliable Secret Service | Unconstitutional --> Click Here to see more Bureaucrats cards!!

Armed Authorities

Customs officials and police feel the cuffs are off now when dealing with all those pesky brown and black people!



Other 'ArmedAuthority' cards: Testify | Preemptive Strike | Pot Meet Kettle | Bloodbath in Yemen | Infantile Tantrum --> Click Here to see more ArmedAuthority cards!!

Democrats

Usually feckless and corporatist, they are now in a situation where all they can do is play defense!!



Other 'Democrats' cards: Gloat | Mike Godwin | George Soros Secret Pussyhat Donor | Paid Protestors | Sen Al Franken --> Click Here to see more Democrats cards!!

The Republican Establishment

Evil, but, you know, lawful evil! And by comparison, not as bad as we thought!



Other 'Republicans' cards: Rep Adrian Smith | Perks of Membership | Hide Intel | Rep Steve King | Poor Family Values --> Click Here to see more Republicans cards!!

The Media

Torn between the clicks the Trump White House gives them, and the desire to stall the fall of the Republic!



Other 'Media' cards: The Opposition Party | Real-Time Fact Checking | Suck It Up Buttercup | Kurt Eichenwald | Holy Shit Indeed --> Click Here to see more Media cards!!

Minority Voices

Pardon if they aren't quite as willing to suffer four years as Trump, given their rights are the first to go!



Other 'Minorities' cards: Spirit of Coretta Scott King | Southern Poverty Law Center | Ballistic | Anne Frank Foundation | Anti Defamation League --> Click Here to see more Minorities cards!!

Celebrities

Celebrities have opinions, which you value highly if they match yours!



Other 'Celebrities' cards: Faye Dunaway Warren Beatty | JK Rowling | Kate McKinnon | Kathy Griffin | SatanistGlobalist Halftime Show --> Click Here to see more Celebrities cards!!

Deplorables

The unholy marriage of sexism, white supremacy, and being an asshole to everyone on Twitter



Other 'Deplorables' cards: Fire and Fury | Nazi er Free Speech Rally | Donald Trump Jr | Eric Trump | Nuclear Holocaust --> Click Here to see more Deplorables cards!!

Conspiracists

Our President treats Alex Jones as a credible news source. Just let that sink in.



Other 'Conspiracists' cards: Call to War | Fake News | Louise Mensch | Breitbart Centipede | Gateway Pundit --> Click Here to see more Conspiracists cards!!

Multicolor (3+ Colors)

These are the things too awesome to fit your puny 2 color paradigm!



Other 'Multi' cards: Jared Kushner | Marshal of the Supreme Court | Intelligence Community | Bill Maher | Bill OReilly --> Click Here to see more Multi cards!!

Front Page | Black | Blue | Green | Red | White | Land | Artifact 3-Colors
Antiestablishment (B/G) | Armed Authorities (R/U) | Bureaucrats (U/W) | Celebrities (B/G) | Conspiracists (B/U)
Democrats (W/G) | Deplorables (R/B) | Media (R/W) | Minorities (G/R) | Republicans (B/W)

MAGA the Gathering is a parody site, and is not sponsored, endorsed or any way affiliated with Wizards of the Coast or Hasbro.

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