MAGA: the Blathering

An attempt to chronicle the ongoing decline of the American experiment at the hands of Orange Julius. This MAGA: the Blathering is a parody site based on Magic: the Gathering but has no affiliation with Hasbro or Wizards of the Coast, who own that property. For this reason, no, I'm not going to print and sell these cards, because I don't want to give their lawyers a good reason to poop the party.

Latest Additions!



Other brand new cards: Worse than Hitler | Ethics Violation | Carter Page | Holocaust Center | Rex Tillerson --> Click Here to see the most recently added cards!!

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Green

It's all about the left, be it minorities, dirty hippies or establishment democrats. Also, lots of the Mary Jane, if you know what I mean.



Other 'Green' cards: Justin Joe Trudeau | False Flag Operation | Toby | Feminists | Preserve Records --> Click Here to see more Green cards!!

White

White is the home of the Establishment, the part of Washington that doesn't like to rock the boat.



Other 'White' cards: White House Fence | Pope Francis | Angela Merkel | Twitter Purge | Early Warning --> Click Here to see more White cards!!

Blue

The part of government in the shadows, including both the bureaucratic ability to slow things down and the conspiracy theories that treat it with suspicion.



Other 'Blue' cards: Marginalize | Russian Meme Propagation | Not Talking About Us | Low Energy Sad | Distress Call --> Click Here to see more Blue cards!!

Black

Whether it's evil, stupidity, or terrible Smiths covers, black is the color of people in general being shitty to one another.



Other 'Black' cards: In The Dark | Paul Manafort | Trump-Brand Hooker | Brain Surgery | Secret Plan to Defeat ISIS --> Click Here to see more Black cards!!

Red

Chaos! Damage! The Press! Deplorable assholes!.



Other 'Red' cards: Big Boy Tonka Photo Op | Overcook with Ketchup | Incite Violence | Investigative Reporter | Tweet Password --> Click Here to see more Red cards!!

Land

Oh, the places we'll go! Assuming we're not detained indefinitely by customs for no legal reason!



Other 'Land' cards: Sizzler | Colorado | Canada | Comet Pizza | Trump Tower --> Click Here to see more Land cards!!

Artifacts

The emperor may have no clothes, but he sure likes to play with his toys!



Other 'Artifact' cards: Caked-On Bronzer | Fine Tuned Machine | Hackable Voting Machines | Lint Roller | Snap On Stealth Component --> Click Here to see more Artifact cards!!

The Republican Establishment

Evil, but, you know, lawful evil! And by comparison, not as bad as we thought!



Other 'Republicans' cards: Act of Mercy | Rep Devin Nunes | Freedom Caucus | White House Council | Obamacare Lite --> Click Here to see more Republicans cards!!

Minority Voices

Pardon if they aren't quite as willing to suffer four years as Trump, given their rights are the first to go!



Other 'Minorities' cards: Spirit of Coretta Scott King | Do Your Job | Modern Underground Railroad | Southern Poverty Law Center | Anti Defamation League --> Click Here to see more Minorities cards!!

Bureaucrats

The only thing keeping us from chaos are career civil servants intent on serving America faithfully and trying not to get fired!



Other 'Bureaucrats' cards: Rogue Health Agency | Preet Bharara | Unconstitutional | Fruitless Raid | Temporary Stay --> Click Here to see more Bureaucrats cards!!

Conspiracists

Our President treats Alex Jones as a credible news source. Just let that sink in.



Other 'Conspiracists' cards: Roger Stone | Fox Friends | He Who Smelt It Dealt It | Peter Schweizer | Recuse --> Click Here to see more Conspiracists cards!!

The Media

Torn between the clicks the Trump White House gives them, and the desire to stall the fall of the Republic!



Other 'Media' cards: Both Sides | Kurt Eichenwald | Snopes | New York Times | Washington Post --> Click Here to see more Media cards!!

Deplorables

The unholy marriage of sexism, white supremacy, and being an asshole to everyone on Twitter



Other 'Deplorables' cards: March 4 Trump | President Bannon | Monday Night Massacre | Stephen Miller | Breitbart --> Click Here to see more Deplorables cards!!

Celebrities

Celebrities have opinions, which you value highly if they match yours!



Other 'Celebrities' cards: SatanistGlobalist Halftime Show | Oprah | Saturday Night Live | Streisand Effect | Ready to Serve --> Click Here to see more Celebrities cards!!

Democrats

Usually feckless and corporatist, they are now in a situation where all they can do is play defense!!



Other 'Democrats' cards: Gloat | Nevertheless She Persisted | Democratic Slumber Party | Unclear on the Concept | Sen Al Franken --> Click Here to see more Democrats cards!!

The Antiestablishment Left

The house is on fire, and these people are still holding a grudge about Bernie.



Other 'Antiestablishment' cards: Glenn Greenwald | Radical Moose Lamb | Carter Page | Useful Idiot | Rep --> Click Here to see more Antiestablishment cards!!

Armed Authorities

Customs officials and police feel the cuffs are off now when dealing with all those pesky brown and black people!



Other 'ArmedAuthority' cards: Race the CBO Score | Blue Lives Matter | ICE Raid | New England Patriots | DHS Secretary John Kelly --> Click Here to see more ArmedAuthority cards!!

Multicolor (3+ Colors)

These are the things too awesome to fit your puny 2 color paradigm!



Other 'Multi' cards: Ben Carson Brain Surgeon | Notorious RBG | Bill OReilly | The Real Story | Bill Maher --> Click Here to see more Multi cards!!

Front Page | Black | Blue | Green | Red | White | Land | Artifact 3-Colors
Antiestablishment (B/G) | Armed Authorities (R/U) | Bureaucrats (U/W) | Celebrities (B/G) | Conspiracists (B/U)
Democrats (W/G) | Deplorables (R/B) | Media (R/W) | Minorities (G/R) | Republicans (B/W)

MAGA the Gathering is a parody site, and is not sponsored, endorsed or any way affiliated with Wizards of the Coast or Hasbro.

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