MAGA: the Blathering
An attempt to chronicle the ongoing decline of the American experiment at the hands of Orange Julius. This
MAGA: the Blathering is a parody site based on Magic: the Gathering but has no affiliation with Hasbro or Wizards of the Coast, who own that property. For this reason, no, I'm not going to print and sell these cards, because I don't want to give their lawyers a good reason to poop the party.
Other brand new cards: Safe Space | Im Not With Him | Donald Trump Jr | Ratings Bonanza | On Many Sides --> Click Here to see the most recently added cards!!
White is the home of the Establishment, the part of Washington that doesn't like to rock the boat.
Other 'White' cards: Dont Like To Read | Twitter Purge | Valentines Day | Fuck You Im Kiteboarding | Early Warning --> Click Here to see more White cards!!
Chaos! Damage! The Press! Deplorable assholes!.
Other 'Red' cards: Body Slam | Unleash the Butthurt | On Many Sides | Nazi Salute | Totally Different --> Click Here to see more Red cards!!
It's all about the left, be it minorities, dirty hippies or establishment democrats. Also, lots of the Mary Jane, if you know what I mean.
Other 'Green' cards: Justin Joe Trudeau | Hurricane Harvey | Freudian Slip | Women-Only Screening | Hide Behind Bushes --> Click Here to see more Green cards!!
The part of government in the shadows, including both the bureaucratic ability to slow things down and the conspiracy theories that treat it with suspicion.
Other 'Blue' cards: Difficulty Recruiting | Integrity Appropriation | Super Secret Information | Thin Ice | Senatorial Rebuke --> Click Here to see more Blue cards!!
Whether it's evil, stupidity, or terrible Smiths covers, black is the color of people in general being shitty to one another.
Other 'Black' cards: Palantyrannic Ritual | Defiance | Trump-Brand Hooker | Cuck | Empty the Executive Library --> Click Here to see more Black cards!!
Oh, the places we'll go! Assuming we're not detained indefinitely by customs for no legal reason!
Other 'Land' cards: Sweden | Trump Tower | Colorado | Atlanta | Bowling Green --> Click Here to see more Land cards!!
The emperor may have no clothes, but he sure likes to play with his toys!
Other 'Artifact' cards: Electoral Map | Gen Flynns Party Yacht | Town Hall Billboard | Cheap Coke | Confederate Flag --> Click Here to see more Artifact cards!!
Our President treats Alex Jones as a credible news source. Just let that sink in.
Other 'Conspiracists' cards: Breitbart Centipede | He Who Smelt It Dealt It | Alex Jones | Fox Friends | Deconstruction --> Click Here to see more Conspiracists cards!!
Torn between the clicks the Trump White House gives them, and the desire to stall the fall of the Republic!
Other 'Media' cards: Anderson Cooper | Fact Checking Chyron | Press Solidarity | Holy Shit Indeed | Kurt Eichenwald --> Click Here to see more Media cards!!
Celebrities have opinions, which you value highly if they match yours!
Other 'Celebrities' cards: Ariana Grande | Ready to Serve | Meryl Streep | Kate McKinnon | Kathy Griffin --> Click Here to see more Celebrities cards!!
Pardon if they aren't quite as willing to suffer four years as Trump, given their rights are the first to go!
Other 'Minorities' cards: Anne Frank Foundation | Modern Underground Railroad | Indivisible | Ballistic | Spirit of Coretta Scott King --> Click Here to see more Minorities cards!!
The unholy marriage of sexism, white supremacy, and being an asshole to everyone on Twitter
Other 'Deplorables' cards: Nazi er Free Speech Rally | Jason Kessler | President Bannon | David Duke | Fire and Fury --> Click Here to see more Deplorables cards!!
The Antiestablishment Left
The house is on fire, and these people are still holding a grudge about Bernie.
Other 'Antiestablishment' cards: Carter Page | Useful Idiot | Glenn Greenwald | Rep | Radical Moose Lamb --> Click Here to see more Antiestablishment cards!!
The Republican Establishment
Evil, but, you know, lawful evil! And by comparison, not as bad as we thought!
Other 'Republicans' cards: Ban the Press | There Is No Christie Only Reek | Scott Pruitt | Sarah Huckabee Sanders | Rep Steve King --> Click Here to see more Republicans cards!!
The only thing keeping us from chaos are career civil servants intent on serving America faithfully and trying not to get fired!
Other 'Bureaucrats' cards: Unconstitutional | Sally Yates | CBO Score | Rogue NASA | Immunity --> Click Here to see more Bureaucrats cards!!
Customs officials and police feel the cuffs are off now when dealing with all those pesky brown and black people!
Other 'ArmedAuthority' cards: Reaccommodate | Blue Lives Matter | ICE Raid | Hang Up | Testify --> Click Here to see more ArmedAuthority cards!!
Usually feckless and corporatist, they are now in a situation where all they can do is play defense!!
Other 'Democrats' cards: Sen Elizabeth Warren | Ivankas Petty Neighbor | Yeah No | Sen Chuck Schumer | Rep Nancy Pelosi --> Click Here to see more Democrats cards!!
Multicolor (3+ Colors)
These are the things too awesome to fit your puny 2 color paradigm!
Other 'Multi' cards: Marshal of the Supreme Court | Intelligence Community | Reality Leigh Winner | The Real Story | Bill OReilly --> Click Here to see more Multi cards!!
Front Page |
Antiestablishment (B/G) |
Armed Authorities (R/U) |
Bureaucrats (U/W) |
Celebrities (B/G) |
Democrats (W/G) |
Deplorables (R/B) |
Media (R/W) |
Minorities (G/R) |
MAGA the Gathering is a parody site, and is not sponsored, endorsed or any way affiliated with Wizards of the Coast or Hasbro.