MAGA: the Blathering
An attempt to chronicle the ongoing decline of the American experiment at the hands of Orange Julius. This
MAGA: the Blathering is a parody site based on Magic: the Gathering but has no affiliation with Hasbro or Wizards of the Coast, who own that property. For this reason, no, I'm not going to print and sell these cards, because I don't want to give their lawyers a good reason to poop the party.
Other brand new cards: Holocaust Center | Jared Kushner | Rex Tillerson | Ethics Violation | Marginalize --> Click Here to see the most recently added cards!!
The part of government in the shadows, including both the bureaucratic ability to slow things down and the conspiracy theories that treat it with suspicion.
Other 'Blue' cards: Extreme Vetting | Revoke Visas | Super Secret Information | Not Talking About Us | Low Energy Sad --> Click Here to see more Blue cards!!
Whether it's evil, stupidity, or terrible Smiths covers, black is the color of people in general being shitty to one another.
Other 'Black' cards: Secret Plan to Defeat ISIS | Trump-Brand Hooker | Worse than Hitler | Just Sign Right Here and Here | Cuck --> Click Here to see more Black cards!!
Chaos! Damage! The Press! Deplorable assholes!.
Other 'Red' cards: Mar-a-Lago Waitstaff | Gene | Overcook with Ketchup | Investigative Reporter | Mens Rights Activists --> Click Here to see more Red cards!!
White is the home of the Establishment, the part of Washington that doesn't like to rock the boat.
Other 'White' cards: Early Warning | Fuck You Im Kiteboarding | Taxi Strike | Nazi Needs a Punchin | Pope Francis --> Click Here to see more White cards!!
It's all about the left, be it minorities, dirty hippies or establishment democrats. Also, lots of the Mary Jane, if you know what I mean.
Other 'Green' cards: Freudian Slip | Emoluments | Miraculous Survival | Tiny Hands | Social Media Savvy Witches --> Click Here to see more Green cards!!
The emperor may have no clothes, but he sure likes to play with his toys!
Other 'Artifact' cards: Fine Tuned Machine | Tape | U | Cheap Coke | Light on an Unsecured Cellphone --> Click Here to see more Artifact cards!!
Oh, the places we'll go! Assuming we're not detained indefinitely by customs for no legal reason!
Other 'Land' cards: Sizzler | Holocaust Center | Sweden | Atlanta | Syria --> Click Here to see more Land cards!!
Pardon if they aren't quite as willing to suffer four years as Trump, given their rights are the first to go!
Other 'Minorities' cards: Indivisible | We All Hang Out | Modern Underground Railroad | Spirit of Coretta Scott King | Southern Poverty Law Center --> Click Here to see more Minorities cards!!
The only thing keeping us from chaos are career civil servants intent on serving America faithfully and trying not to get fired!
Other 'Bureaucrats' cards: CBO Score | Flip | Preet Bharara | Decline to Defend | Thorough Refutation --> Click Here to see more Bureaucrats cards!!
The Republican Establishment
Evil, but, you know, lawful evil! And by comparison, not as bad as we thought!
Other 'Republicans' cards: Rex Tillerson | Act of Mercy | Frat Dreams | Rep Devin Nunes | Rep Steve King --> Click Here to see more Republicans cards!!
Customs officials and police feel the cuffs are off now when dealing with all those pesky brown and black people!
Other 'ArmedAuthority' cards: Race the CBO Score | ICE Raid | Yuuuge Wall | Take It Or Leave It | Blue Lives Matter --> Click Here to see more ArmedAuthority cards!!
The Antiestablishment Left
The house is on fire, and these people are still holding a grudge about Bernie.
Other 'Antiestablishment' cards: Rep | Useful Idiot | Jill Stein Voter | Glenn Greenwald | Susan Sarandon --> Click Here to see more Antiestablishment cards!!
Torn between the clicks the Trump White House gives them, and the desire to stall the fall of the Republic!
Other 'Media' cards: Holy Shit Indeed | Faux Presidential | Uncredible | Washington Post | Both Sides --> Click Here to see more Media cards!!
Celebrities have opinions, which you value highly if they match yours!
Other 'Celebrities' cards: JK Rowling | Oprah | Saturday Night Live | Hollywood Elite | Meryl Streep --> Click Here to see more Celebrities cards!!
Usually feckless and corporatist, they are now in a situation where all they can do is play defense!!
Other 'Democrats' cards: Rep Kirsten Gillibrand | Unclear on the Concept | Nevertheless She Persisted | Susan Rice | Pussy Grabs Back --> Click Here to see more Democrats cards!!
The unholy marriage of sexism, white supremacy, and being an asshole to everyone on Twitter
Other 'Deplorables' cards: President Bannon | Stormfront | Fake Racists | Sebastian Gorka | Breitbart --> Click Here to see more Deplorables cards!!
Our President treats Alex Jones as a credible news source. Just let that sink in.
Other 'Conspiracists' cards: Pretty Hate Machine | Fox Friends | Breitbart Centipede | Recuse | Robert Kennedy Antivaxer Loon --> Click Here to see more Conspiracists cards!!
Multicolor (3+ Colors)
These are the things too awesome to fit your puny 2 color paradigm!
Other 'Multi' cards: The Real Story | Jared Kushner | Notorious RBG | Bill Maher | Bill OReilly --> Click Here to see more Multi cards!!
Front Page |
Antiestablishment (B/G) |
Armed Authorities (R/U) |
Bureaucrats (U/W) |
Celebrities (B/G) |
Democrats (W/G) |
Deplorables (R/B) |
Media (R/W) |
Minorities (G/R) |
MAGA the Gathering is a parody site, and is not sponsored, endorsed or any way affiliated with Wizards of the Coast or Hasbro.