MAGA: the Blathering

An attempt to chronicle the ongoing decline of the American experiment at the hands of Orange Julius. This MAGA: the Blathering is a parody site based on Magic: the Gathering but has no affiliation with Hasbro or Wizards of the Coast, who own that property. For this reason, no, I'm not going to print and sell these cards, because I don't want to give their lawyers a good reason to poop the party.

Latest Additions!



Other brand new cards: Safe Space | Donald Trump Jr | Marshal of the Supreme Court | Im Not With Him | On Many Sides --> Click Here to see the most recently added cards!!

;

Green

It's all about the left, be it minorities, dirty hippies or establishment democrats. Also, lots of the Mary Jane, if you know what I mean.



Other 'Green' cards: Freudian Slip | Higher Purpose | LOL No | Ineffective | Flagrant Nepotism --> Click Here to see more Green cards!!

Blue

The part of government in the shadows, including both the bureaucratic ability to slow things down and the conspiracy theories that treat it with suspicion.



Other 'Blue' cards: Difficulty Recruiting | Russian Meme Propagation | Counseled | White House Infomercial | Medical Exam --> Click Here to see more Blue cards!!

Red

Chaos! Damage! The Press! Deplorable assholes!.



Other 'Red' cards: Big Boy Tonka Photo Op | Overcook with Ketchup | Nazi Salute | Narcissistic Cabinet Meeting | Me First --> Click Here to see more Red cards!!

White

White is the home of the Establishment, the part of Washington that doesn't like to rock the boat.



Other 'White' cards: Im Not With Him | Angela Merkel | Firm Handshake | Pope Francis | Stonewall --> Click Here to see more White cards!!

Black

Whether it's evil, stupidity, or terrible Smiths covers, black is the color of people in general being shitty to one another.



Other 'Black' cards: Defiance | Cuck | What a Crowd | Empty the Executive Library | Self-Fellate --> Click Here to see more Black cards!!

Artifacts

The emperor may have no clothes, but he sure likes to play with his toys!



Other 'Artifact' cards: Golf Cart | Pussy Hat | Festivus Pole | Caked-On Bronzer | Lint Roller --> Click Here to see more Artifact cards!!

Land

Oh, the places we'll go! Assuming we're not detained indefinitely by customs for no legal reason!



Other 'Land' cards: Colorado | Comet Pizza | Canada | Bowling Green | Sizzler --> Click Here to see more Land cards!!

Minority Voices

Pardon if they aren't quite as willing to suffer four years as Trump, given their rights are the first to go!



Other 'Minorities' cards: Indivisible | Rep John Lewis | Spirit of Coretta Scott King | Ghost of Frederick Douglass | Ballistic --> Click Here to see more Minorities cards!!

The Antiestablishment Left

The house is on fire, and these people are still holding a grudge about Bernie.



Other 'Antiestablishment' cards: Radical Moose Lamb | Wikileaks | Carter Page | Antifa | Glenn Greenwald --> Click Here to see more Antiestablishment cards!!

The Republican Establishment

Evil, but, you know, lawful evil! And by comparison, not as bad as we thought!



Other 'Republicans' cards: Mike Pence | Sen Jeff Sessions | Rep Raul Labrador | Sarah Huckabee Sanders | Freedom Caucus --> Click Here to see more Republicans cards!!

The Media

Torn between the clicks the Trump White House gives them, and the desire to stall the fall of the Republic!



Other 'Media' cards: Holy Shit Indeed | Washington Post | Kurt Eichenwald | Fact Checking Chyron | Both Sides --> Click Here to see more Media cards!!

Bureaucrats

The only thing keeping us from chaos are career civil servants intent on serving America faithfully and trying not to get fired!



Other 'Bureaucrats' cards: Office of Governmental Ethics | Person of Interest | Unreliable Secret Service | Temporary Stay | Rogue NASA --> Click Here to see more Bureaucrats cards!!

Conspiracists

Our President treats Alex Jones as a credible news source. Just let that sink in.



Other 'Conspiracists' cards: Russian Photographer | Breitbart Centipede | Gateway Pundit | Deconstruction | Repeal and Replace --> Click Here to see more Conspiracists cards!!

Deplorables

The unholy marriage of sexism, white supremacy, and being an asshole to everyone on Twitter



Other 'Deplorables' cards: Grand Dragon | Sebastian Gorka | Fire and Fury | Jason Kessler | Eric Trump --> Click Here to see more Deplorables cards!!

Celebrities

Celebrities have opinions, which you value highly if they match yours!



Other 'Celebrities' cards: Ariana Grande | Switch Jobs | Streisand Effect | Oprah | JK Rowling --> Click Here to see more Celebrities cards!!

Democrats

Usually feckless and corporatist, they are now in a situation where all they can do is play defense!!



Other 'Democrats' cards: Nevertheless She Persisted | Susan Rice | John Kerry | Sen Chuck Schumer | Buyers Remorse --> Click Here to see more Democrats cards!!

Armed Authorities

Customs officials and police feel the cuffs are off now when dealing with all those pesky brown and black people!



Other 'ArmedAuthority' cards: FBI Raid | National Guard | Infantile Tantrum | Sheriff David Clarke | Race the CBO Score --> Click Here to see more ArmedAuthority cards!!

Multicolor (3+ Colors)

These are the things too awesome to fit your puny 2 color paradigm!



Other 'Multi' cards: Bill OReilly | Sheriff Joe Arpaio | Reality Leigh Winner | Marshal of the Supreme Court | Bring On Climate Change --> Click Here to see more Multi cards!!

Front Page | Black | Blue | Green | Red | White | Land | Artifact 3-Colors
Antiestablishment (B/G) | Armed Authorities (R/U) | Bureaucrats (U/W) | Celebrities (B/G) | Conspiracists (B/U)
Democrats (W/G) | Deplorables (R/B) | Media (R/W) | Minorities (G/R) | Republicans (B/W)

MAGA the Gathering is a parody site, and is not sponsored, endorsed or any way affiliated with Wizards of the Coast or Hasbro.

;