MAGA: the Blathering
An attempt to chronicle the ongoing decline of the American experiment at the hands of Orange Julius. This
MAGA: the Blathering is a parody site based on Magic: the Gathering but has no affiliation with Hasbro or Wizards of the Coast, who own that property. For this reason, no, I'm not going to print and sell these cards, because I don't want to give their lawyers a good reason to poop the party.
Other brand new cards: Safe Space | Ratings Bonanza | Donald Trump Jr | Marshal of the Supreme Court | On Many Sides --> Click Here to see the most recently added cards!!
Whether it's evil, stupidity, or terrible Smiths covers, black is the color of people in general being shitty to one another.
Other 'Black' cards: Pardon | Defiance | Cuck | Too Bad | What a Crowd --> Click Here to see more Black cards!!
Chaos! Damage! The Press! Deplorable assholes!.
Other 'Red' cards: On Many Sides | Nazi Salute | Mar-a-Lago Waitstaff | Me First | Body Slam --> Click Here to see more Red cards!!
It's all about the left, be it minorities, dirty hippies or establishment democrats. Also, lots of the Mary Jane, if you know what I mean.
Other 'Green' cards: Punch a Nazi | Flagrant Nepotism | Hurricane Harvey | Higher Purpose | Freudian Slip --> Click Here to see more Green cards!!
The part of government in the shadows, including both the bureaucratic ability to slow things down and the conspiracy theories that treat it with suspicion.
Other 'Blue' cards: Sid the Science Kid | Internet Hoax | Wander Off | Revoke Visas | Circular Fucking Logic --> Click Here to see more Blue cards!!
White is the home of the Establishment, the part of Washington that doesn't like to rock the boat.
Other 'White' cards: Widows Garb | Exceptionally Shitty Turnout | Firm Handshake | Total Eclipse of the Derp | Im Not With Him --> Click Here to see more White cards!!
The emperor may have no clothes, but he sure likes to play with his toys!
Other 'Artifact' cards: Pussy Hat | Confederate Flag | Secret Service Laptop | Tiki Torch | Electoral Map --> Click Here to see more Artifact cards!!
Oh, the places we'll go! Assuming we're not detained indefinitely by customs for no legal reason!
Other 'Land' cards: Colorado | Mar-a-Lago | Canada | Atlanta | Sizzler --> Click Here to see more Land cards!!
The Antiestablishment Left
The house is on fire, and these people are still holding a grudge about Bernie.
Other 'Antiestablishment' cards: Radical Moose Lamb | Rep | Jill Fucking Stein | The Young Turks | Carter Page --> Click Here to see more Antiestablishment cards!!
Pardon if they aren't quite as willing to suffer four years as Trump, given their rights are the first to go!
Other 'Minorities' cards: We All Hang Out | Indivisible | Spirit of Coretta Scott King | Do Your Job | Southern Poverty Law Center --> Click Here to see more Minorities cards!!
Customs officials and police feel the cuffs are off now when dealing with all those pesky brown and black people!
Other 'ArmedAuthority' cards: Testify | Preemptive Strike | Blue Lives Matter | DHS Secretary John Kelly | Race the CBO Score --> Click Here to see more ArmedAuthority cards!!
The unholy marriage of sexism, white supremacy, and being an asshole to everyone on Twitter
Other 'Deplorables' cards: Fire and Fury | Jason Kessler | David Duke | Donald Trump Jr | Lone Wolf --> Click Here to see more Deplorables cards!!
The Republican Establishment
Evil, but, you know, lawful evil! And by comparison, not as bad as we thought!
Other 'Republicans' cards: Sarah Huckabee Sanders | Rules Change | Rep Raul Labrador | Rep Adrian Smith | Privatize the FAA --> Click Here to see more Republicans cards!!
Our President treats Alex Jones as a credible news source. Just let that sink in.
Other 'Conspiracists' cards: Kellyanne Conway | Breitbart Centipede | Repeal and Replace | He Who Smelt It Dealt It | Dmitry Rybolovlev --> Click Here to see more Conspiracists cards!!
Torn between the clicks the Trump White House gives them, and the desire to stall the fall of the Republic!
Other 'Media' cards: Suck It Up Buttercup | Fact Checking Chyron | Real-Time Fact Checking | Kurt Eichenwald | Both Sides --> Click Here to see more Media cards!!
The only thing keeping us from chaos are career civil servants intent on serving America faithfully and trying not to get fired!
Other 'Bureaucrats' cards: Unconstitutional | Sally Yates | Health Code Violation | Horrible No-Good Very Bad Weekend | Preet Bharara --> Click Here to see more Bureaucrats cards!!
Usually feckless and corporatist, they are now in a situation where all they can do is play defense!!
Other 'Democrats' cards: Susan Rice | Rep Kirsten Gillibrand | Nevertheless She Persisted | A Day Without Women | John Kerry --> Click Here to see more Democrats cards!!
Celebrities have opinions, which you value highly if they match yours!
Other 'Celebrities' cards: JK Rowling | SatanistGlobalist Halftime Show | Oprah | Hollywood Elite | Streisand Effect --> Click Here to see more Celebrities cards!!
Multicolor (3+ Colors)
These are the things too awesome to fit your puny 2 color paradigm!
Other 'Multi' cards: James Comey | Sheriff Joe Arpaio | Sergey Kislyak | Jeanine Pirro | Reality Leigh Winner --> Click Here to see more Multi cards!!
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Antiestablishment (B/G) |
Armed Authorities (R/U) |
Bureaucrats (U/W) |
Celebrities (B/G) |
Democrats (W/G) |
Deplorables (R/B) |
Media (R/W) |
Minorities (G/R) |
MAGA the Gathering is a parody site, and is not sponsored, endorsed or any way affiliated with Wizards of the Coast or Hasbro.