MAGA: the Blathering

An attempt to chronicle the ongoing decline of the American experiment at the hands of Orange Julius. This MAGA: the Blathering is a parody site based on Magic: the Gathering but has no affiliation with Hasbro or Wizards of the Coast, who own that property. For this reason, no, I'm not going to print and sell these cards, because I don't want to give their lawyers a good reason to poop the party.

Latest Additions!



Other brand new cards: What a Crowd | Donald Trump Jr | On Many Sides | Ratings Bonanza | Marshal of the Supreme Court --> Click Here to see the most recently added cards!!

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White

White is the home of the Establishment, the part of Washington that doesn't like to rock the boat.



Other 'White' cards: Requires Constant Care Feeding | White House Fence | You Just Got Here | Safe Space | Exceptionally Shitty Turnout --> Click Here to see more White cards!!

Green

It's all about the left, be it minorities, dirty hippies or establishment democrats. Also, lots of the Mary Jane, if you know what I mean.



Other 'Green' cards: Flagrant Nepotism | Jewish Klan Rally | Level of Viciousness | Higher Purpose | Justin Joe Trudeau --> Click Here to see more Green cards!!

Blue

The part of government in the shadows, including both the bureaucratic ability to slow things down and the conspiracy theories that treat it with suspicion.



Other 'Blue' cards: Ethics Violation | Misinterpreted | Temporarily Detained | Marginalize | Do Over --> Click Here to see more Blue cards!!

Red

Chaos! Damage! The Press! Deplorable assholes!.



Other 'Red' cards: Overcook with Ketchup | Big Boy Tonka Photo Op | Incite Violence | Irony in the Twitter Feed | Totally Not a Nazi --> Click Here to see more Red cards!!

Black

Whether it's evil, stupidity, or terrible Smiths covers, black is the color of people in general being shitty to one another.



Other 'Black' cards: Cuck | Self-Fellate | Trump-Brand Hooker | Protect Heritage | Palantyrannic Ritual --> Click Here to see more Black cards!!

Artifacts

The emperor may have no clothes, but he sure likes to play with his toys!



Other 'Artifact' cards: Confederate Flag | Pussy Hat | Snap On Stealth Component | Fine Tuned Machine | Uranium --> Click Here to see more Artifact cards!!

Land

Oh, the places we'll go! Assuming we're not detained indefinitely by customs for no legal reason!



Other 'Land' cards: Comet Pizza | Colorado | Syria | Atlanta | Canada --> Click Here to see more Land cards!!

Conspiracists

Our President treats Alex Jones as a credible news source. Just let that sink in.



Other 'Conspiracists' cards: Roger Stone | Louise Mensch | Gateway Pundit | Peter Schweizer | Russian Photographer --> Click Here to see more Conspiracists cards!!

Armed Authorities

Customs officials and police feel the cuffs are off now when dealing with all those pesky brown and black people!



Other 'ArmedAuthority' cards: Preemptive Strike | Race the CBO Score | Testify | Infantile Tantrum | Take It Or Leave It --> Click Here to see more ArmedAuthority cards!!

Deplorables

The unholy marriage of sexism, white supremacy, and being an asshole to everyone on Twitter



Other 'Deplorables' cards: Donald Trump Jr | Lone Wolf | Fire and Fury | Sebastian Gorka | President Bannon --> Click Here to see more Deplorables cards!!

The Media

Torn between the clicks the Trump White House gives them, and the desire to stall the fall of the Republic!



Other 'Media' cards: New York Times | Holy Shit Indeed | Snopes | Press Solidarity | Negative Press Covfefe --> Click Here to see more Media cards!!

Celebrities

Celebrities have opinions, which you value highly if they match yours!



Other 'Celebrities' cards: Oprah | Switch Jobs | SatanistGlobalist Halftime Show | Ready to Serve | Saturday Night Live --> Click Here to see more Celebrities cards!!

Bureaucrats

The only thing keeping us from chaos are career civil servants intent on serving America faithfully and trying not to get fired!



Other 'Bureaucrats' cards: Sally Yates | Horrible No-Good Very Bad Weekend | Subpoena | Leaking Like a Sieve | Flip --> Click Here to see more Bureaucrats cards!!

The Republican Establishment

Evil, but, you know, lawful evil! And by comparison, not as bad as we thought!



Other 'Republicans' cards: John McCain | Rules Change | But Her Emails | Rep Raul Labrador | Privatize the FAA --> Click Here to see more Republicans cards!!

Democrats

Usually feckless and corporatist, they are now in a situation where all they can do is play defense!!



Other 'Democrats' cards: John Kerry | Susan Rice | Rep Kirsten Gillibrand | Nevertheless She Persisted | Gloat --> Click Here to see more Democrats cards!!

Minority Voices

Pardon if they aren't quite as willing to suffer four years as Trump, given their rights are the first to go!



Other 'Minorities' cards: Anti Defamation League | Spirit of Coretta Scott King | Ballistic | Modern Underground Railroad | Do Your Job --> Click Here to see more Minorities cards!!

The Antiestablishment Left

The house is on fire, and these people are still holding a grudge about Bernie.



Other 'Antiestablishment' cards: Rep | Useful Idiot | Radical Moose Lamb | Glenn Greenwald | Carter Page --> Click Here to see more Antiestablishment cards!!

Multicolor (3+ Colors)

These are the things too awesome to fit your puny 2 color paradigm!



Other 'Multi' cards: Notorious RBG | Bring On Climate Change | Jeanine Pirro | Jared Kushner | Bill OReilly --> Click Here to see more Multi cards!!

Front Page | Black | Blue | Green | Red | White | Land | Artifact 3-Colors
Antiestablishment (B/G) | Armed Authorities (R/U) | Bureaucrats (U/W) | Celebrities (B/G) | Conspiracists (B/U)
Democrats (W/G) | Deplorables (R/B) | Media (R/W) | Minorities (G/R) | Republicans (B/W)

MAGA the Gathering is a parody site, and is not sponsored, endorsed or any way affiliated with Wizards of the Coast or Hasbro.

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