MAGA: the Blathering

An attempt to chronicle the ongoing decline of the American experiment at the hands of Orange Julius. This MAGA: the Blathering is a parody site based on Magic: the Gathering but has no affiliation with Hasbro or Wizards of the Coast, who own that property. For this reason, no, I'm not going to print and sell these cards, because I don't want to give their lawyers a good reason to poop the party.

Latest Additions!



Other brand new cards: Safe Space | Marshal of the Supreme Court | On Many Sides | Im Not With Him | Ratings Bonanza --> Click Here to see the most recently added cards!!

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Green

It's all about the left, be it minorities, dirty hippies or establishment democrats. Also, lots of the Mary Jane, if you know what I mean.



Other 'Green' cards: LOL No | Ineffective | Miraculous Survival | Freudian Slip | Pooping Dog --> Click Here to see more Green cards!!

Black

Whether it's evil, stupidity, or terrible Smiths covers, black is the color of people in general being shitty to one another.



Other 'Black' cards: Ratings Bonanza | Ann Coulter | Fake Battleground | Trump-Brand Hooker | Defiance --> Click Here to see more Black cards!!

Red

Chaos! Damage! The Press! Deplorable assholes!.



Other 'Red' cards: Big Boy Tonka Photo Op | On Many Sides | Test Launch | Me First | Totally Different --> Click Here to see more Red cards!!

Blue

The part of government in the shadows, including both the bureaucratic ability to slow things down and the conspiracy theories that treat it with suspicion.



Other 'Blue' cards: Russian Backchannel | Easily Disproven Exaggeration | Thin Ice | Overturn Gerrymandering | Senatorial Rebuke --> Click Here to see more Blue cards!!

White

White is the home of the Establishment, the part of Washington that doesn't like to rock the boat.



Other 'White' cards: Fuck You Im Kiteboarding | True Believer | White House Fence | Time Out | Im Not With Him --> Click Here to see more White cards!!

Land

Oh, the places we'll go! Assuming we're not detained indefinitely by customs for no legal reason!



Other 'Land' cards: Trump Tower | Mar-a-Lago | Sizzler | Colorado | Sweden --> Click Here to see more Land cards!!

Artifacts

The emperor may have no clothes, but he sure likes to play with his toys!



Other 'Artifact' cards: Secret Service Laptop | Golf Cart | Basket of Deplorables | Shit Sandwich | Electoral Map --> Click Here to see more Artifact cards!!

Bureaucrats

The only thing keeping us from chaos are career civil servants intent on serving America faithfully and trying not to get fired!



Other 'Bureaucrats' cards: Horrible No-Good Very Bad Weekend | Unconstitutional | CBO Score | Unreliable Secret Service | Rogue NASA --> Click Here to see more Bureaucrats cards!!

The Media

Torn between the clicks the Trump White House gives them, and the desire to stall the fall of the Republic!



Other 'Media' cards: Ted Koppel | Negative Press Covfefe | Shepard Smith | The Opposition Party | Press Solidarity --> Click Here to see more Media cards!!

The Antiestablishment Left

The house is on fire, and these people are still holding a grudge about Bernie.



Other 'Antiestablishment' cards: Radical Moose Lamb | Glenn Greenwald | Michael Tracey | Useful Idiot | Jill Stein Voter --> Click Here to see more Antiestablishment cards!!

Conspiracists

Our President treats Alex Jones as a credible news source. Just let that sink in.



Other 'Conspiracists' cards: Fake News | Ghoulish Assbackwards Rationale | Dmitry Rybolovlev | Alex Jones | Prison Planet --> Click Here to see more Conspiracists cards!!

The Republican Establishment

Evil, but, you know, lawful evil! And by comparison, not as bad as we thought!



Other 'Republicans' cards: Scott Pruitt | Greg Gianforte | Frat Dreams | Rep Steve King | Mike Pence --> Click Here to see more Republicans cards!!

Minority Voices

Pardon if they aren't quite as willing to suffer four years as Trump, given their rights are the first to go!



Other 'Minorities' cards: Spirit of Coretta Scott King | Ballistic | Ghost of Frederick Douglass | Anne Frank Foundation | Anti Defamation League --> Click Here to see more Minorities cards!!

Democrats

Usually feckless and corporatist, they are now in a situation where all they can do is play defense!!



Other 'Democrats' cards: Mike Godwin | Unclear on the Concept | Rep Nancy Pelosi | Daylin Leach | Susan Rice --> Click Here to see more Democrats cards!!

Celebrities

Celebrities have opinions, which you value highly if they match yours!



Other 'Celebrities' cards: Streisand Effect | Switch Jobs | Oprah | Faye Dunaway Warren Beatty | Kate McKinnon --> Click Here to see more Celebrities cards!!

Armed Authorities

Customs officials and police feel the cuffs are off now when dealing with all those pesky brown and black people!



Other 'ArmedAuthority' cards: Infantile Tantrum | Blue Lives Matter | Tear Gas to the Nads | DHS Secretary John Kelly | Pot Meet Kettle --> Click Here to see more ArmedAuthority cards!!

Deplorables

The unholy marriage of sexism, white supremacy, and being an asshole to everyone on Twitter



Other 'Deplorables' cards: David Duke | Nazi er Free Speech Rally | Grand Dragon | Friendly Reporter | Milo Yiannopoulos --> Click Here to see more Deplorables cards!!

Multicolor (3+ Colors)

These are the things too awesome to fit your puny 2 color paradigm!



Other 'Multi' cards: James Comey | Bill OReilly | Megan Kelly | The Real Story | Intelligence Community --> Click Here to see more Multi cards!!

Front Page | Black | Blue | Green | Red | White | Land | Artifact 3-Colors
Antiestablishment (B/G) | Armed Authorities (R/U) | Bureaucrats (U/W) | Celebrities (B/G) | Conspiracists (B/U)
Democrats (W/G) | Deplorables (R/B) | Media (R/W) | Minorities (G/R) | Republicans (B/W)

MAGA the Gathering is a parody site, and is not sponsored, endorsed or any way affiliated with Wizards of the Coast or Hasbro.

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