MAGA: the Blathering
An attempt to chronicle the ongoing decline of the American experiment at the hands of Orange Julius. This
MAGA: the Blathering is a parody site based on Magic: the Gathering but has no affiliation with Hasbro or Wizards of the Coast, who own that property. For this reason, no, I'm not going to print and sell these cards, because I don't want to give their lawyers a good reason to poop the party.
Other brand new cards: Safe Space | Marshal of the Supreme Court | Donald Trump Jr | Im Not With Him | On Many Sides --> Click Here to see the most recently added cards!!
It's all about the left, be it minorities, dirty hippies or establishment democrats. Also, lots of the Mary Jane, if you know what I mean.
Other 'Green' cards: Punch a Nazi | LOL No | Jewish Klan Rally | Justin Joe Trudeau | Flagrant Nepotism --> Click Here to see more Green cards!!
The part of government in the shadows, including both the bureaucratic ability to slow things down and the conspiracy theories that treat it with suspicion.
Other 'Blue' cards: Misinterpreted | Integrity Appropriation | Marginalize | Astound | Senatorial Rebuke --> Click Here to see more Blue cards!!
Whether it's evil, stupidity, or terrible Smiths covers, black is the color of people in general being shitty to one another.
Other 'Black' cards: Defiance | Protect Heritage | Self-Fellate | Just Sign Right Here and Here | What a Crowd --> Click Here to see more Black cards!!
Chaos! Damage! The Press! Deplorable assholes!.
Other 'Red' cards: Youre Fired | On Many Sides | Overcook with Ketchup | Mar-a-Lago Waitstaff | Free Pass for Nazis --> Click Here to see more Red cards!!
White is the home of the Establishment, the part of Washington that doesn't like to rock the boat.
Other 'White' cards: Requires Constant Care Feeding | Disown | Dont Like To Read | Parliamentary Rejection | Just Lingered Outside --> Click Here to see more White cards!!
The emperor may have no clothes, but he sure likes to play with his toys!
Other 'Artifact' cards: Tiki Torch | Pussy Hat | Golf Cart | Electoral Map | Milk Assumedly Whole Not 2 --> Click Here to see more Artifact cards!!
Oh, the places we'll go! Assuming we're not detained indefinitely by customs for no legal reason!
Other 'Land' cards: Colorado | Comet Pizza | Sweden | Sizzler | Syria --> Click Here to see more Land cards!!
The only thing keeping us from chaos are career civil servants intent on serving America faithfully and trying not to get fired!
Other 'Bureaucrats' cards: Thorough Refutation | Not Quite Yet | Flip | Unconstitutional | Rogue NASA --> Click Here to see more Bureaucrats cards!!
Customs officials and police feel the cuffs are off now when dealing with all those pesky brown and black people!
Other 'ArmedAuthority' cards: The CPB | DHS Secretary John Kelly | Infantile Tantrum | Blue Lives Matter | FBI Raid --> Click Here to see more ArmedAuthority cards!!
Celebrities have opinions, which you value highly if they match yours!
Other 'Celebrities' cards: Oprah | Ready to Serve | JK Rowling | Switch Jobs | Faye Dunaway Warren Beatty --> Click Here to see more Celebrities cards!!
The Antiestablishment Left
The house is on fire, and these people are still holding a grudge about Bernie.
Other 'Antiestablishment' cards: Radical Moose Lamb | Wikileaks | Useful Idiot | Rep | Carter Page --> Click Here to see more Antiestablishment cards!!
Usually feckless and corporatist, they are now in a situation where all they can do is play defense!!
Other 'Democrats' cards: Sen Elizabeth Warren | Rep Kirsten Gillibrand | Mike Godwin | Unclear on the Concept | Susan Rice --> Click Here to see more Democrats cards!!
The Republican Establishment
Evil, but, you know, lawful evil! And by comparison, not as bad as we thought!
Other 'Republicans' cards: Obamacare Lite | John Boehner | Rep Raul Labrador | White House Council | Scott Pruitt --> Click Here to see more Republicans cards!!
The unholy marriage of sexism, white supremacy, and being an asshole to everyone on Twitter
Other 'Deplorables' cards: Milo Yiannopoulos | Donald Trump Jr | Wink Wink Nudge Nudge | Manufactured War | You Like Me I Like You --> Click Here to see more Deplorables cards!!
Our President treats Alex Jones as a credible news source. Just let that sink in.
Other 'Conspiracists' cards: Roger Stone | Recuse | Andrew Napolitano | Louise Mensch | Call for Authoritarianism --> Click Here to see more Conspiracists cards!!
Pardon if they aren't quite as willing to suffer four years as Trump, given their rights are the first to go!
Other 'Minorities' cards: Anti Defamation League | We All Hang Out | Modern Underground Railroad | Do Your Job | Indivisible --> Click Here to see more Minorities cards!!
Torn between the clicks the Trump White House gives them, and the desire to stall the fall of the Republic!
Other 'Media' cards: Snopes | Faux Presidential | Press Solidarity | Suck It Up Buttercup | Uncredible --> Click Here to see more Media cards!!
Multicolor (3+ Colors)
These are the things too awesome to fit your puny 2 color paradigm!
Other 'Multi' cards: Marshal of the Supreme Court | Bill Maher | Bill OReilly | Tucker Carlson | Donald Trump --> Click Here to see more Multi cards!!
Front Page |
Antiestablishment (B/G) |
Armed Authorities (R/U) |
Bureaucrats (U/W) |
Celebrities (B/G) |
Democrats (W/G) |
Deplorables (R/B) |
Media (R/W) |
Minorities (G/R) |
MAGA the Gathering is a parody site, and is not sponsored, endorsed or any way affiliated with Wizards of the Coast or Hasbro.