MAGA: the Blathering

An attempt to chronicle the ongoing decline of the American experiment at the hands of Orange Julius. This MAGA: the Blathering is a parody site based on Magic: the Gathering but has no affiliation with Hasbro or Wizards of the Coast, who own that property. For this reason, no, I'm not going to print and sell these cards, because I don't want to give their lawyers a good reason to poop the party.

Latest Additions!



Other brand new cards: Ann Coulter | Donald Trump Jr | Marshal of the Supreme Court | Ratings Bonanza | Im Not With Him --> Click Here to see the most recently added cards!!
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Black

Whether it's evil, stupidity, or terrible Smiths covers, black is the color of people in general being shitty to one another.



Other 'Black' cards: Fake Battleground | Ann Coulter | What a Crowd | Dickishly Preferential Treatment | Secret Plan to Defeat ISIS --> Click Here to see more Black cards!!

Green

It's all about the left, be it minorities, dirty hippies or establishment democrats. Also, lots of the Mary Jane, if you know what I mean.



Other 'Green' cards: Women-Only Screening | LOL No | Hide Behind Bushes | Freudian Slip | Aura of Alienation --> Click Here to see more Green cards!!

White

White is the home of the Establishment, the part of Washington that doesn't like to rock the boat.



Other 'White' cards: Disown | White House Fence | Exceptionally Shitty Turnout | Safe Space | Pope Francis --> Click Here to see more White cards!!

Red

Chaos! Damage! The Press! Deplorable assholes!.



Other 'Red' cards: Unleash the Butthurt | MOAB | Nazi Salute | Ranting and Raving | On Many Sides --> Click Here to see more Red cards!!

Blue

The part of government in the shadows, including both the bureaucratic ability to slow things down and the conspiracy theories that treat it with suspicion.



Other 'Blue' cards: Russian Backchannel | Faceless Bureaucrat | Silence Media Outlet | Snowflake | Interesting Omissions --> Click Here to see more Blue cards!!

Artifacts

The emperor may have no clothes, but he sure likes to play with his toys!



Other 'Artifact' cards: Confederate Flag | Chocolate Cake | Snap On Stealth Component | Secret Service Laptop | Light on an Unsecured Cellphone --> Click Here to see more Artifact cards!!

Land

Oh, the places we'll go! Assuming we're not detained indefinitely by customs for no legal reason!



Other 'Land' cards: Comet Pizza | Atlanta | White House | Sweden | Syria --> Click Here to see more Land cards!!

Conspiracists

Our President treats Alex Jones as a credible news source. Just let that sink in.



Other 'Conspiracists' cards: Louise Mensch | Russian Photographer | Kellyanne Conway | Robert Kennedy Antivaxer Loon | David Seaman --> Click Here to see more Conspiracists cards!!

The Media

Torn between the clicks the Trump White House gives them, and the desire to stall the fall of the Republic!



Other 'Media' cards: Snopes | Kurt Eichenwald | Suck It Up Buttercup | Anderson Cooper | Both Sides --> Click Here to see more Media cards!!

The Republican Establishment

Evil, but, you know, lawful evil! And by comparison, not as bad as we thought!



Other 'Republicans' cards: Rules Change | Scott Pruitt | Sarah Huckabee Sanders | Rep Raul Labrador | For Profit Prison --> Click Here to see more Republicans cards!!

Celebrities

Celebrities have opinions, which you value highly if they match yours!



Other 'Celebrities' cards: JK Rowling | SatanistGlobalist Halftime Show | Kate McKinnon | Kendall Jenner | Saturday Night Live --> Click Here to see more Celebrities cards!!

Democrats

Usually feckless and corporatist, they are now in a situation where all they can do is play defense!!



Other 'Democrats' cards: Sen Elizabeth Warren | John Kerry | Gloat | Ivankas Petty Neighbor | Unclear on the Concept --> Click Here to see more Democrats cards!!

Deplorables

The unholy marriage of sexism, white supremacy, and being an asshole to everyone on Twitter



Other 'Deplorables' cards: Fire and Fury | Nazi er Free Speech Rally | Sebastian Gorka | Nigel Farage | Some Light Treason --> Click Here to see more Deplorables cards!!

Minority Voices

Pardon if they aren't quite as willing to suffer four years as Trump, given their rights are the first to go!



Other 'Minorities' cards: Anne Frank Foundation | Blinding Arrogance | Spirit of Coretta Scott King | Indivisible | Southern Poverty Law Center --> Click Here to see more Minorities cards!!

Bureaucrats

The only thing keeping us from chaos are career civil servants intent on serving America faithfully and trying not to get fired!



Other 'Bureaucrats' cards: Sally Yates | Not Quite Yet | Person of Interest | Office of Governmental Ethics | Subpoena --> Click Here to see more Bureaucrats cards!!

Armed Authorities

Customs officials and police feel the cuffs are off now when dealing with all those pesky brown and black people!



Other 'ArmedAuthority' cards: FBI Raid | Testify | Preemptive Strike | Take It Or Leave It | Sheriff David Clarke --> Click Here to see more ArmedAuthority cards!!

The Antiestablishment Left

The house is on fire, and these people are still holding a grudge about Bernie.



Other 'Antiestablishment' cards: Jill Stein Voter | Glenn Greenwald | Carter Page | Useful Idiot | Wikileaks --> Click Here to see more Antiestablishment cards!!

Multicolor (3+ Colors)

These are the things too awesome to fit your puny 2 color paradigm!



Other 'Multi' cards: Notorious RBG | Jeanine Pirro | Sheriff Joe Arpaio | Intelligence Community | Tucker Carlson --> Click Here to see more Multi cards!!

Front Page | Black | Blue | Green | Red | White | Land | Artifact 3-Colors
Antiestablishment (B/G) | Armed Authorities (R/U) | Bureaucrats (U/W) | Celebrities (B/G) | Conspiracists (B/U)
Democrats (W/G) | Deplorables (R/B) | Media (R/W) | Minorities (G/R) | Republicans (B/W)

MAGA the Gathering is a parody site, and is not sponsored, endorsed or any way affiliated with Wizards of the Coast or Hasbro.

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