MAGA: the Blathering

An attempt to chronicle the ongoing decline of the American experiment at the hands of Orange Julius. This MAGA: the Blathering is a parody site based on Magic: the Gathering but has no affiliation with Hasbro or Wizards of the Coast, who own that property. For this reason, no, I'm not going to print and sell these cards, because I don't want to give their lawyers a good reason to poop the party.

Latest Additions!



Other brand new cards: Safe Space | On Many Sides | Donald Trump Jr | Im Not With Him | Ratings Bonanza --> Click Here to see the most recently added cards!!
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Red

Chaos! Damage! The Press! Deplorable assholes!.



Other 'Red' cards: Totally Different | Body Slam | Narcissistic Cabinet Meeting | Gene | Manipulating Via Twitter --> Click Here to see more Red cards!!

Green

It's all about the left, be it minorities, dirty hippies or establishment democrats. Also, lots of the Mary Jane, if you know what I mean.



Other 'Green' cards: Level of Viciousness | LOL No | Women-Only Screening | Pooping Dog | Ineffective --> Click Here to see more Green cards!!

Blue

The part of government in the shadows, including both the bureaucratic ability to slow things down and the conspiracy theories that treat it with suspicion.



Other 'Blue' cards: Integrity Appropriation | Russian Backchannel | Misinterpreted | Label | Counseled --> Click Here to see more Blue cards!!

Black

Whether it's evil, stupidity, or terrible Smiths covers, black is the color of people in general being shitty to one another.



Other 'Black' cards: Defiance | Cuck | Too Bad | Ratings Bonanza | Brain Surgery --> Click Here to see more Black cards!!

White

White is the home of the Establishment, the part of Washington that doesn't like to rock the boat.



Other 'White' cards: Requires Constant Care Feeding | Predictable Blowback | True Believer | Early Warning | Just Lingered Outside --> Click Here to see more White cards!!

Land

Oh, the places we'll go! Assuming we're not detained indefinitely by customs for no legal reason!



Other 'Land' cards: Comet Pizza | Mar-a-Lago | Bowling Green | Sizzler | Sweden --> Click Here to see more Land cards!!

Artifacts

The emperor may have no clothes, but he sure likes to play with his toys!



Other 'Artifact' cards: Electoral Map | Pussy Hat | Golf Cart | Cheap Coke | Stupid Plastic Button --> Click Here to see more Artifact cards!!

The Media

Torn between the clicks the Trump White House gives them, and the desire to stall the fall of the Republic!



Other 'Media' cards: Negative Press Covfefe | David Farenthold | Washington Post | Holy Shit Indeed | Kurt Eichenwald --> Click Here to see more Media cards!!

Democrats

Usually feckless and corporatist, they are now in a situation where all they can do is play defense!!



Other 'Democrats' cards: Gloat | John Kerry | Rep Nancy Pelosi | Paid Protestors | Susan Rice --> Click Here to see more Democrats cards!!

Minority Voices

Pardon if they aren't quite as willing to suffer four years as Trump, given their rights are the first to go!



Other 'Minorities' cards: Southern Poverty Law Center | Modern Underground Railroad | We All Hang Out | Anne Frank Foundation | Blinding Arrogance --> Click Here to see more Minorities cards!!

Armed Authorities

Customs officials and police feel the cuffs are off now when dealing with all those pesky brown and black people!



Other 'ArmedAuthority' cards: Testify | Tear Gas to the Nads | The CPB | Blue Lives Matter | Race the CBO Score --> Click Here to see more ArmedAuthority cards!!

Celebrities

Celebrities have opinions, which you value highly if they match yours!



Other 'Celebrities' cards: Saturday Night Live | Kathy Griffin | Ready to Serve | JK Rowling | Faye Dunaway Warren Beatty --> Click Here to see more Celebrities cards!!

Deplorables

The unholy marriage of sexism, white supremacy, and being an asshole to everyone on Twitter



Other 'Deplorables' cards: Lone Wolf | Nazi er Free Speech Rally | Jason Kessler | President Bannon | Fire and Fury --> Click Here to see more Deplorables cards!!

The Antiestablishment Left

The house is on fire, and these people are still holding a grudge about Bernie.



Other 'Antiestablishment' cards: Michael Tracey | Useful Idiot | Glenn Greenwald | The Young Turks | Jill Stein Voter --> Click Here to see more Antiestablishment cards!!

Conspiracists

Our President treats Alex Jones as a credible news source. Just let that sink in.



Other 'Conspiracists' cards: Breitbart Centipede | Fox Friends | Fake News | Dmitry Rybolovlev | Louise Mensch --> Click Here to see more Conspiracists cards!!

The Republican Establishment

Evil, but, you know, lawful evil! And by comparison, not as bad as we thought!



Other 'Republicans' cards: Rules Change | Rep Adrian Smith | There Is No Christie Only Reek | Sen Jeff Sessions | Rep Roger Marshall --> Click Here to see more Republicans cards!!

Bureaucrats

The only thing keeping us from chaos are career civil servants intent on serving America faithfully and trying not to get fired!



Other 'Bureaucrats' cards: Not Quite Yet | Desperate Archivists | Subpoena | Preet Bharara | Rogue NASA --> Click Here to see more Bureaucrats cards!!

Multicolor (3+ Colors)

These are the things too awesome to fit your puny 2 color paradigm!



Other 'Multi' cards: Jared Kushner | Bill Maher | Bill OReilly | Sergey Kislyak | Bring On Climate Change --> Click Here to see more Multi cards!!

Front Page | Black | Blue | Green | Red | White | Land | Artifact 3-Colors
Antiestablishment (B/G) | Armed Authorities (R/U) | Bureaucrats (U/W) | Celebrities (B/G) | Conspiracists (B/U)
Democrats (W/G) | Deplorables (R/B) | Media (R/W) | Minorities (G/R) | Republicans (B/W)

MAGA the Gathering is a parody site, and is not sponsored, endorsed or any way affiliated with Wizards of the Coast or Hasbro.

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