MAGA: the Blathering

An attempt to chronicle the ongoing decline of the American experiment at the hands of Orange Julius. This MAGA: the Blathering is a parody site based on Magic: the Gathering but has no affiliation with Hasbro or Wizards of the Coast, who own that property. For this reason, no, I'm not going to print and sell these cards, because I don't want to give their lawyers a good reason to poop the party.

Latest Additions!



Other brand new cards: What a Crowd | Ratings Bonanza | On Many Sides | Im Not With Him | Donald Trump Jr --> Click Here to see the most recently added cards!!
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White

White is the home of the Establishment, the part of Washington that doesn't like to rock the boat.



Other 'White' cards: Politifact | Just Lingered Outside | Dont Like To Read | Coward | Logistical Nightmare --> Click Here to see more White cards!!

Green

It's all about the left, be it minorities, dirty hippies or establishment democrats. Also, lots of the Mary Jane, if you know what I mean.



Other 'Green' cards: Pooping Dog | Higher Purpose | Justin Joe Trudeau | Women-Only Screening | Hurricane Harvey --> Click Here to see more Green cards!!

Black

Whether it's evil, stupidity, or terrible Smiths covers, black is the color of people in general being shitty to one another.



Other 'Black' cards: Ann Coulter | Ratings Bonanza | Cuck | Trump-Brand Hooker | Defiance --> Click Here to see more Black cards!!

Blue

The part of government in the shadows, including both the bureaucratic ability to slow things down and the conspiracy theories that treat it with suspicion.



Other 'Blue' cards: Misinterpreted | Integrity Appropriation | Thin Ice | Extreme Vetting | Taking Care of Itself --> Click Here to see more Blue cards!!

Red

Chaos! Damage! The Press! Deplorable assholes!.



Other 'Red' cards: Big Boy Tonka Photo Op | Mar-a-Lago Waitstaff | Test Launch | Tweet Password | On Notice --> Click Here to see more Red cards!!

Land

Oh, the places we'll go! Assuming we're not detained indefinitely by customs for no legal reason!



Other 'Land' cards: Holocaust Center | Syria | Sweden | Atlanta | Bowling Green --> Click Here to see more Land cards!!

Artifacts

The emperor may have no clothes, but he sure likes to play with his toys!



Other 'Artifact' cards: Electoral Map | Golf Cart | Tiki Torch | Gen Flynns Party Yacht | Tape --> Click Here to see more Artifact cards!!

Democrats

Usually feckless and corporatist, they are now in a situation where all they can do is play defense!!



Other 'Democrats' cards: Nevertheless She Persisted | Ivankas Petty Neighbor | Sen Elizabeth Warren | Rep Kirsten Gillibrand | Susan Rice --> Click Here to see more Democrats cards!!

Minority Voices

Pardon if they aren't quite as willing to suffer four years as Trump, given their rights are the first to go!



Other 'Minorities' cards: Anne Frank Foundation | Indivisible | Spirit of Coretta Scott King | Blinding Arrogance | Ballistic --> Click Here to see more Minorities cards!!

Conspiracists

Our President treats Alex Jones as a credible news source. Just let that sink in.



Other 'Conspiracists' cards: Alex Jones | Fox Friends | Fake News | Dmitry Rybolovlev | Call for Authoritarianism --> Click Here to see more Conspiracists cards!!

Bureaucrats

The only thing keeping us from chaos are career civil servants intent on serving America faithfully and trying not to get fired!



Other 'Bureaucrats' cards: Leaking Like a Sieve | Preet Bharara | Decline to Defend | Desperate Archivists | Rogue Health Agency --> Click Here to see more Bureaucrats cards!!

Armed Authorities

Customs officials and police feel the cuffs are off now when dealing with all those pesky brown and black people!



Other 'ArmedAuthority' cards: Blue Lives Matter | Sheriff David Clarke | Testify | FBI Raid | Yuuuge Wall --> Click Here to see more ArmedAuthority cards!!

Celebrities

Celebrities have opinions, which you value highly if they match yours!



Other 'Celebrities' cards: Saturday Night Live | Oprah | Kendall Jenner | SatanistGlobalist Halftime Show | Ariana Grande --> Click Here to see more Celebrities cards!!

Deplorables

The unholy marriage of sexism, white supremacy, and being an asshole to everyone on Twitter



Other 'Deplorables' cards: David Duke | Fire and Fury | Grand Dragon | Lone Wolf | President Bannon --> Click Here to see more Deplorables cards!!

The Republican Establishment

Evil, but, you know, lawful evil! And by comparison, not as bad as we thought!



Other 'Republicans' cards: Mike Pence | Frat Dreams | Rex Tillerson | There Is No Christie Only Reek | John Boehner --> Click Here to see more Republicans cards!!

The Media

Torn between the clicks the Trump White House gives them, and the desire to stall the fall of the Republic!



Other 'Media' cards: Negative Press Covfefe | New York Times | Alexandra Petri | The Opposition Party | Ted Koppel --> Click Here to see more Media cards!!

The Antiestablishment Left

The house is on fire, and these people are still holding a grudge about Bernie.



Other 'Antiestablishment' cards: Michael Tracey | Jill Stein Voter | Radical Moose Lamb | Rep | Susan Sarandon --> Click Here to see more Antiestablishment cards!!

Multicolor (3+ Colors)

These are the things too awesome to fit your puny 2 color paradigm!



Other 'Multi' cards: Sheriff Joe Arpaio | James Comey | Sergey Kislyak | Bring On Climate Change | Town Hall --> Click Here to see more Multi cards!!

Front Page | Black | Blue | Green | Red | White | Land | Artifact 3-Colors
Antiestablishment (B/G) | Armed Authorities (R/U) | Bureaucrats (U/W) | Celebrities (B/G) | Conspiracists (B/U)
Democrats (W/G) | Deplorables (R/B) | Media (R/W) | Minorities (G/R) | Republicans (B/W)

MAGA the Gathering is a parody site, and is not sponsored, endorsed or any way affiliated with Wizards of the Coast or Hasbro.

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