MAGA: the Blathering
An attempt to chronicle the ongoing decline of the American experiment at the hands of Orange Julius. This
MAGA: the Blathering is a parody site based on Magic: the Gathering but has no affiliation with Hasbro or Wizards of the Coast, who own that property. For this reason, no, I'm not going to print and sell these cards, because I don't want to give their lawyers a good reason to poop the party.
Other brand new cards: Safe Space | On Many Sides | Donald Trump Jr | Marshal of the Supreme Court | Ratings Bonanza --> Click Here to see the most recently added cards!!
Whether it's evil, stupidity, or terrible Smiths covers, black is the color of people in general being shitty to one another.
Other 'Black' cards: What a Crowd | Ann Coulter | Palantyrannic Ritual | Fake Battleground | Ratings Bonanza --> Click Here to see more Black cards!!
It's all about the left, be it minorities, dirty hippies or establishment democrats. Also, lots of the Mary Jane, if you know what I mean.
Other 'Green' cards: Hurricane Harvey | Women-Only Screening | Level of Viciousness | Emoluments | Reddit Phonebanker --> Click Here to see more Green cards!!
Chaos! Damage! The Press! Deplorable assholes!.
Other 'Red' cards: Big Boy Tonka Photo Op | On Many Sides | Overcook with Ketchup | Me First | Nazi Salute --> Click Here to see more Red cards!!
The part of government in the shadows, including both the bureaucratic ability to slow things down and the conspiracy theories that treat it with suspicion.
Other 'Blue' cards: Misinterpreted | Thin Ice | Integrity Appropriation | Ethics Violation | Silence Media Outlet --> Click Here to see more Blue cards!!
White is the home of the Establishment, the part of Washington that doesn't like to rock the boat.
Other 'White' cards: You Just Got Here | Total Eclipse of the Derp | Exceptionally Shitty Turnout | Parliamentary Rejection | True Believer --> Click Here to see more White cards!!
The emperor may have no clothes, but he sure likes to play with his toys!
Other 'Artifact' cards: Tiki Torch | Uranium | Pussy Hat | Easter Bunny Costume | Town Hall Billboard --> Click Here to see more Artifact cards!!
Oh, the places we'll go! Assuming we're not detained indefinitely by customs for no legal reason!
Other 'Land' cards: Canada | Syria | Comet Pizza | Trump Tower | White House --> Click Here to see more Land cards!!
Usually feckless and corporatist, they are now in a situation where all they can do is play defense!!
Other 'Democrats' cards: Susan Rice | Sen Elizabeth Warren | Mike Godwin | Sen Chuck Schumer | Rep Nancy Pelosi --> Click Here to see more Democrats cards!!
Our President treats Alex Jones as a credible news source. Just let that sink in.
Other 'Conspiracists' cards: Andrew Napolitano | Roger Stone | Recuse | Idiot | Fox Friends --> Click Here to see more Conspiracists cards!!
Celebrities have opinions, which you value highly if they match yours!
Other 'Celebrities' cards: Faye Dunaway Warren Beatty | Kendall Jenner | Ready to Serve | Kathy Griffin | Emasculated --> Click Here to see more Celebrities cards!!
The Antiestablishment Left
The house is on fire, and these people are still holding a grudge about Bernie.
Other 'Antiestablishment' cards: Antifa | Wikileaks | Jill Stein Voter | Rep | Carter Page --> Click Here to see more Antiestablishment cards!!
Torn between the clicks the Trump White House gives them, and the desire to stall the fall of the Republic!
Other 'Media' cards: Press Solidarity | The Opposition Party | Suck It Up Buttercup | Fact Checking Chyron | Snopes --> Click Here to see more Media cards!!
Customs officials and police feel the cuffs are off now when dealing with all those pesky brown and black people!
Other 'ArmedAuthority' cards: National Guard | Yuuuge Wall | Bloodbath in Yemen | Another Kent State | Testify --> Click Here to see more ArmedAuthority cards!!
Pardon if they aren't quite as willing to suffer four years as Trump, given their rights are the first to go!
Other 'Minorities' cards: Rep John Lewis | Anti Defamation League | Ghost of Frederick Douglass | We All Hang Out | Southern Poverty Law Center --> Click Here to see more Minorities cards!!
The unholy marriage of sexism, white supremacy, and being an asshole to everyone on Twitter
Other 'Deplorables' cards: Sebastian Gorka | Nazi er Free Speech Rally | President Bannon | Donald Trump Jr | Eric Trump --> Click Here to see more Deplorables cards!!
The only thing keeping us from chaos are career civil servants intent on serving America faithfully and trying not to get fired!
Other 'Bureaucrats' cards: Subpoena | Temporary Stay | Unconstitutional | Sally Yates | Rogue NASA --> Click Here to see more Bureaucrats cards!!
The Republican Establishment
Evil, but, you know, lawful evil! And by comparison, not as bad as we thought!
Other 'Republicans' cards: Freedom Caucus | Sarah Huckabee Sanders | Sen Jeff Sessions | There Is No Christie Only Reek | Rep Raul Labrador --> Click Here to see more Republicans cards!!
Multicolor (3+ Colors)
These are the things too awesome to fit your puny 2 color paradigm!
Other 'Multi' cards: Bill OReilly | Notorious RBG | The Real Story | Ben Carson Brain Surgeon | Jeanine Pirro --> Click Here to see more Multi cards!!
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Antiestablishment (B/G) |
Armed Authorities (R/U) |
Bureaucrats (U/W) |
Celebrities (B/G) |
Democrats (W/G) |
Deplorables (R/B) |
Media (R/W) |
Minorities (G/R) |
MAGA the Gathering is a parody site, and is not sponsored, endorsed or any way affiliated with Wizards of the Coast or Hasbro.