MAGA: the Blathering

An attempt to chronicle the ongoing decline of the American experiment at the hands of Orange Julius. This MAGA: the Blathering is a parody site based on Magic: the Gathering but has no affiliation with Hasbro or Wizards of the Coast, who own that property. For this reason, no, I'm not going to print and sell these cards, because I don't want to give their lawyers a good reason to poop the party.

Latest Additions!



Other brand new cards: Safe Space | Donald Trump Jr | Marshal of the Supreme Court | On Many Sides | Im Not With Him --> Click Here to see the most recently added cards!!
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White

White is the home of the Establishment, the part of Washington that doesn't like to rock the boat.



Other 'White' cards: Exceptionally Shitty Turnout | Safe Space | Widows Garb | Retweeted White Supremacists | Im Not With Him --> Click Here to see more White cards!!

Red

Chaos! Damage! The Press! Deplorable assholes!.



Other 'Red' cards: Youre Fired | Me First | Unleash the Butthurt | Test Launch | Fascism Forever Club --> Click Here to see more Red cards!!

Blue

The part of government in the shadows, including both the bureaucratic ability to slow things down and the conspiracy theories that treat it with suspicion.



Other 'Blue' cards: Dummy | Label | Wander Off | Medical Exam | Marginalize --> Click Here to see more Blue cards!!

Black

Whether it's evil, stupidity, or terrible Smiths covers, black is the color of people in general being shitty to one another.



Other 'Black' cards: Protect Heritage | Self-Fellate | Fake Battleground | Just Sign Right Here and Here | Too Bad --> Click Here to see more Black cards!!

Green

It's all about the left, be it minorities, dirty hippies or establishment democrats. Also, lots of the Mary Jane, if you know what I mean.



Other 'Green' cards: Freudian Slip | Pooping Dog | LOL No | Higher Purpose | Ineffective --> Click Here to see more Green cards!!

Land

Oh, the places we'll go! Assuming we're not detained indefinitely by customs for no legal reason!



Other 'Land' cards: Sweden | Comet Pizza | Holocaust Center | Canada | Sizzler --> Click Here to see more Land cards!!

Artifacts

The emperor may have no clothes, but he sure likes to play with his toys!



Other 'Artifact' cards: Golf Cart | Pussy Hat | Town Hall Billboard | Caked-On Bronzer | Chocolate Cake --> Click Here to see more Artifact cards!!

Conspiracists

Our President treats Alex Jones as a credible news source. Just let that sink in.



Other 'Conspiracists' cards: Kellyanne Conway | Disable Recording with Russians | Russian Photographer | He Who Smelt It Dealt It | Roger Stone --> Click Here to see more Conspiracists cards!!

Democrats

Usually feckless and corporatist, they are now in a situation where all they can do is play defense!!



Other 'Democrats' cards: John Kerry | Ivankas Petty Neighbor | Font of Embarrassment | George Soros Secret Pussyhat Donor | Susan Rice --> Click Here to see more Democrats cards!!

Celebrities

Celebrities have opinions, which you value highly if they match yours!



Other 'Celebrities' cards: Saturday Night Live | Faye Dunaway Warren Beatty | Oprah | Ready to Serve | Streisand Effect --> Click Here to see more Celebrities cards!!

Armed Authorities

Customs officials and police feel the cuffs are off now when dealing with all those pesky brown and black people!



Other 'ArmedAuthority' cards: Blue Lives Matter | Testify | Another Kent State | New England Patriots | DHS Secretary John Kelly --> Click Here to see more ArmedAuthority cards!!

The Media

Torn between the clicks the Trump White House gives them, and the desire to stall the fall of the Republic!



Other 'Media' cards: Ted Koppel | Dan Rather | Snopes | Faux Presidential | Uncredible --> Click Here to see more Media cards!!

Bureaucrats

The only thing keeping us from chaos are career civil servants intent on serving America faithfully and trying not to get fired!



Other 'Bureaucrats' cards: Sally Yates | Rogue NASA | Not Quite Yet | Flip | Unconstitutional --> Click Here to see more Bureaucrats cards!!

Deplorables

The unholy marriage of sexism, white supremacy, and being an asshole to everyone on Twitter



Other 'Deplorables' cards: Grand Dragon | President Bannon | Sebastian Gorka | Eric Trump | Manufactured War --> Click Here to see more Deplorables cards!!

The Republican Establishment

Evil, but, you know, lawful evil! And by comparison, not as bad as we thought!



Other 'Republicans' cards: Frat Dreams | Sen Jeff Sessions | There Is No Christie Only Reek | Scott Pruitt | John Boehner --> Click Here to see more Republicans cards!!

Minority Voices

Pardon if they aren't quite as willing to suffer four years as Trump, given their rights are the first to go!



Other 'Minorities' cards: Indivisible | Anne Frank Foundation | Southern Poverty Law Center | Ghost of Frederick Douglass | Ballistic --> Click Here to see more Minorities cards!!

The Antiestablishment Left

The house is on fire, and these people are still holding a grudge about Bernie.



Other 'Antiestablishment' cards: Michael Tracey | Wikileaks | The Young Turks | Radical Moose Lamb | Useful Idiot --> Click Here to see more Antiestablishment cards!!

Multicolor (3+ Colors)

These are the things too awesome to fit your puny 2 color paradigm!



Other 'Multi' cards: Jared Kushner | Intelligence Community | James Comey | Bring On Climate Change | Bill OReilly --> Click Here to see more Multi cards!!

Front Page | Black | Blue | Green | Red | White | Land | Artifact 3-Colors
Antiestablishment (B/G) | Armed Authorities (R/U) | Bureaucrats (U/W) | Celebrities (B/G) | Conspiracists (B/U)
Democrats (W/G) | Deplorables (R/B) | Media (R/W) | Minorities (G/R) | Republicans (B/W)

MAGA the Gathering is a parody site, and is not sponsored, endorsed or any way affiliated with Wizards of the Coast or Hasbro.

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